Maelstrom 18 Conversations Part 2
by illmatar
Summary: Strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M! Rated B for BAD HUMOR and F for FLUFF! The first section is mostly harmless - but I do kill off Daniel, and go downhill from there. Ultra Magnus, Hot Rod, Arcee, Springer, Rodimus Prime, Spike, Carly
1. Chapter 1

Maelstrom Chapter 31  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 2

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. Rated M for adult themes! **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 31  
Conversations in the Kitchen  
Chapter 2  
Getting to Know Everything About you  
Part A

"A football game?" Rodimus asked incredulously, looking up from the teleporter.

Magnus arched an eyebrow sarcastically and tossed the football up and down in one hand. "Yeah," he said. "Unless, of course, you aren't up to it....Prime." Magnus managed not to crack a smile, but Rodimus still sensed the word "Winnebago" doing a merry dance somewhere behind those glinting two-toned eyes.

It's his revenge for the whole "Uncle" thing, Rodimus thought with an inner chuckle of his own. He looked at the teleporter and sighed. They had just sent en empty cereal box across the room with it. Apparently, even though everything looked fine, there were still a few adjustments to make. In other words, it was a good thing the box had been empty before they'd sent it, because it was in no shape to hold cereal now. Rodimus shuddered, thinking how easily they could end up a twisted, unrecognizable lump when they tried the thing on themselves. A football game suddenly seemed a very attractive option to taking the damned mechanism apart again.

"You're on," Rodi said with a wicked grin. "You in angel?" he asked Lancer, who was glaring at the teleporter as if she could intimidate it into behaving better.

"What? Delicate little me in with all you big tough men? I might break a nail!" Lancer simpered.

"Ah," said Magnus, "so you're in." Rodimus laughed.

Lancer stood and stretched languorously....and swiped the ball from Magnus as he tossed it.

"Right," she said, grinning. Magnus made a grab for the ball and she ran off, laughing. Magnus gave chase.

"Magnus! Lancer! Not in the house!" Carly shouted from the living room. She knew full well it was a waste of breath, but feeling the need to anyway. She gave Rodi an accusatory stare as he strolled casually past her. "And here I thought you two were more settled than our bunch!" Carly groused.

"No. Just sneakier about it," Rodimus said as he headed for the door. He was in no hurry, knowing it would be a good while before anyone calmed down enough to actually play a game. He waited in the yard, and watched Springer and Hot Rod goof around until Lancer skipped back and tossed him the ball. He had given the boys a little pre-game instruction while they waited for the chase to end, and they were both a little nervous about what he'd talked them into doing. Neither of them was really sure how he'd managed to do that....he was very hard to say no to. Magnus thundered to a halt next to them a few seconds later and gave Lancer an evil look. She batted her eyes at him.

"She's worse than Hot Rod!" Magnus growled under his breath. Then he gave Rodimus a sharp questioning look, "Hey! How DID I catch her the other day?" He glared at Lancer again, and she gave him a vapid smile.

"Err...Ancient Chinese secret!" said Rodimus, throwing the ball at Magnus. "Tag! You're it! Jump him guys!" There was an immediate pile on which took Magnus completely by surprise - not because he didn't have warning, but because Springer and Hot Rod would dare..... He resisted for an instant, even though all four of them jumped him. Their combined weight didn't do it, but Rodi and Lancer's strategic assault on his balance DID. The heap toppled.

"Timber!" Rodimus yelled as they went down.

"UMMMPPPHH!" Magnus said.

"HAH!" Lancer gloated. "Vengeance is mine!" She had somehow managed to land on top of the heap, and was glad to have payback for her undignified welcome to this dimension.

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The free-for-all which followed was less of a game than a friendly brawl with only the occasional passing glance towards the rules. It was a bright, warm day with a few random clouds. Arcee talked Foul Play into joining in, although the Decepticon expressed amazement that Hot Rod even wanted to move, let alone play football. She was still sore from the morning's trials and the game did not look any less bruising. It was supposed to be flag football, but Foul Play lost count of all the times they ended up in a heap - why did she always seem to end up tangled up in Hot Rod? No matter where she positioned herself, somehow she always ended up where he did, no matter how many times she vowed that the latest stomach-clenching collision would be the last. The one time she nearly succeeded in escaping unscathed she inexplicably got bumped hard sideways by Lancer at the same instant Rodimus was delivering a similar blow to his twin. Hot Rod's body hit her full in the chest and they toppled like a pair of felled trees. They both had the wind knocked out of them, and didn't get up very fast, resulting in some very confusing cat-calls from the others. Foul Play decided Hot Rod was cute when he blushed.

Rodimus and Magnus seemed to have a competition going to see who could dish out and/or take the most punishment and went after each other even when it wasn't strictly necessary - why else would they tackle each other when Arcee had the ball? There was some mention of 'teams" but Foul Play quickly realized that she couldn't keep up with the changing alliances...it was worse than being at home.

Lancer and Rodimus seemed to be using the game as an excuse to either embarrass each other or flirt with each other...not to mention gang up on everyone else in turn. Their better coordination made it hard to get revenge on them after they found a way to trip someone up, although Magnus and Springer did manage to catch Rodi between them at one point. They both acted so pleased with themselves, as though they'd planned the whole thing in advance, but it looked more like a lucky accident to Foul Play. Lancer laughed and laughed though, and Rodimus sought revenge on her before turning that devilish grin on Springer and Magnus. Foul Play couldn't decide who was the most amazed, Magnus or the rest of them, when Rodimus managed to catch him off-balance enough to topple him...again. No one laughed out loud though, because Magnus also took revenge on those who snickered at his down-fall. A few seconds lying flattened under his weight and you were very sorry you even thought about laughing. Except Lancer and Rodimus - of course, they laughed with impunity, and their audacity still amazed Foul Play. She still didn't understand them though. One minute they'd be insulting and teasing each other, the next Springer was calling foul for delay of game when they choose to stay on the ground kissing. Of course, he and Arcee were not to be outdone and were caught doing the same shortly after. It all made Foul Play's head spin, although it was still better than dwelling on her recent reactions to Hot Rod.

By the time the game ended, they were all hot, sweaty, and whatever reservations and awkwardness remained had been ground into the mud. Even Marissa had joined in at the end, but her "interference" rapidly dissolved what little structure the game had in the first place, and Magnus (not unexpectedly) called it quits after a few minutes of having her in the game. Spike and Carly watched agog from the sidelines, and muttered about what Op would owe them for laundry bills and yard work. They also had a few choice remarks about the maturity levels of their charges, especially one City Commander and a supposed Prime who were so covered in mud and grass stains that they were nearly unrecognizable. They were all heading for the house when Spike came from around the back with the garden hose. He didn't say a word, but something in his feral smile told them all it was pay-back time.

"Incoming!" Rodimus shouted with a laugh, and the chilly water hit their overheated bodies the next instant. Everyone yelped. There was a general good-natured round of cursing and vows of vengeance on Spike who was still grinning like a wolf as he hosed the mud off of them before they got one inch closer to Carly's carpet. She stood behind him, cheering him on, and directing his aim to where it was most needed. She had a real eye for mud apparently because no one escaped a very thorough drenching. After a few minutes though, the Witwicky couple got a little power crazy and the "mud" became ever more imaginary. Rodimus and Magnus exchanged a silent glance and Spike suddenly found his hose under Magnus' control, and his arms pinned by Rodimus who was inexplicably behind him. Rodimus ducked his head and laughed at Spike futile struggling. Magnus smiled ever so slightly and just aimed the hose for a second.

"Magnus! Don't do it!" Spike said, not that he thought he really had a prayer.

The dripping City Commander didn't say anything, but the smile widened a little, and Spike got a lovely head on view as the water arced towards him. Not forgetting the cheer-leader, Magnus relished Carly's shriek as he gave her a similar drenching. She stood there with the same look on her face Lancer had worn when Springer had dumped her coffee on her. Even Magnus seemed slightly cowed for a split second, or so Carly thought, and then the water hit her again. Her second shriek was a perfect twin of the first. Magnus smiled to himself. Nailing a Decepticon had never been as satisfying.

Most of the group opted to head straight for the pool since they were dripping anyway, although Marissa and Lancer decided they'd better help with dinner to prevent Carly from having a terminal melt-down. She was so incensed they could practically see the water drying off of her as steam. (She was laughing about it too, but she would never dream of encouraging such behavior by letting it show.) Even Spike felt it prudent to avoid his wife until she regained her composure, and he joined the others in the pool.

X

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X

"You're trouble on the battle-field, aren't you?" Magnus asked Rodimus. They were both in the pool. Magnus was standing on the bottom; Rodimus was floating on the inner-tube.

Rodi smiled by way of answer, "I'm a trouble-maker pretty much everywhere I go." He nodded at Hot Rod. "Who better for it? Nowadays, I just make sure most of the trouble I cause is directed at the bad guys."

Magnus snorted, and smiled. "No one's ever been able to knock me down like that before," he said with grudging admiration.

"You've never been a squishy before," Rodimus reminded him, "I'm sure I'd have to work a bit harder at it if you were in robot form."

"A bit," Magnus said with an evil smile, but he wasn't completely satisfied with that answer. He glanced over to where Hot Rod and Foul Play were commiserating over their bruises - it seemed to be all they talked about the last few days - and then glanced back at Rodimus. His nephew's older twin seemed to have fallen asleep in those few seconds, and Magnus frowned.

The guests still seemed to be sleeping an awful lot, and he often wondered why they were still so exhausted. He didn't know that Rodimus and Lancer were feeling rather more relaxed here than they did at home. The problems they faced still weighed on their minds, but at least they didn't have to be on constant guard while they were here. Uninterrupted sleep was something of a luxury, especially to Rodimus, and he was taking full advantage while he could. Unfortunately, Rodimus was no longer a person who could safely afford to let his guard down. He dozed comfortably....until the sun came out from behind the clouds and hit him full in the face.

X

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X

"Feeling better Carly?" Lancer asked, as she and Marissa helped her cut vegetables for dinner.

"Hmmph," Carly said. Then she grinned, "Oh, I was never that mad, but I couldn't let Magnus know that; we have enough trouble already!"

"I think he knows, Carly," Marissa said.

"Probably," Carly agreed, "but it's the principle of the thing."

"Uh-huh," said Lancer, and the three of them grinned foolishly at each other.

"So," Carly said, "Marissa told me that she and Magnus are a couple in your dimension as well. Is that true?"

"Oh, very true. I have never known Captain Fairborne to miss once she's set her sights on something," Lancer smirked.

"Ohh, she went after him, did she?" Marissa snickered.

"Like a shark. The poor guy never stood a chance!"

"He can shift back and forth like Rodimus does?" Carly wanted to know.

"Yeah." Lancer confirmed.

"All of the shape-shifting going on must get confusing," Marissa noted, "although I suppose the Autobots are used to it."

"Yeah, well, most of them don't even know Rodimus can do it, and even fewer know Magnus can," Lancer said quietly.

"Really? Why? Do they have a problem with the whole human/Autobot relationship thing, or what?" Marissa asked curiously.

"That's part of it, but a very small part of it. Neither Rodi or Magnus have ever cared that much about popular opinion. It's mostly security, especially for the kids. They have inherited our enemies, and are therefore closely guarded secrets."

"Hmm, I never thought of that. You're right, Rodimus' children would be very tempting targets, wouldn't they?"

Lancer smiled, and had a brief mental war with herself. Her good side lost. "Yes," she said, pausing for drama, "and Magnus' too."

There was a moment of silence, the first part of which involved Carly and Marissa nearly missing the implications of that statement, and the second part involving the stilling of hands, and the widening of eyes. Lancer waited, and counted seconds.

"WHAT?" the two women said in unison.

"Fifteen!" Lancer crowed gleefully.

"MAGNUS' WHAT?" Carly said. Marissa had apparently lost her voice as her mouth was working uselessly. She looked rather like a stranded carp.

"Why, his children," Lancer said sweetly. "They hadn't been born yet when we left, but they may very well be by the time we get home. Marissa is carrying twin boys. She's only seven months along, but she's miserably huge. The doctors think they will probably have to take them early or she just might burst at the seams. It's OK though, because they are both over five pounds each already. Poor Marissa. The only thing that makes me feel worse than how tired she must feel right now, is thinking about how tired she will be with two of Magnus' babies on the loose. I know my little Hot Rod clones keep me busy enough, and I had enough sense to space mine five years!"

"I need to sit down," Marissa said. And she did - right there on the floor. "Twins?" she asked meekly from there on the tile.

"Yup," Lancer said, gloating. "Oh, don't worry Marissa. Your twin has everything well in...err..hand. She's currently seeing to it that he's suffering every bit as much as she is, and he, in turn, is taking it out on the Autobots. Rodimus has never had less discipline problems, except, of course, when I was pregnant with Alex. Optimus says all of this baby-making is good for well behaved troops."

Carly laughed, but Marissa remained in shock. "Oh, come on Marissa! It's not as though it's you that's pregnant!" Carly snickered.

"I know, but the very thought of having an Autobot's child! My mind can't accept it!" Marissa breathed. She staunchly refused to respond to Carly and Lancer's merciless teasing, and remained seated on the floor for quite a while.

That was why, when it happened, Marissa's first and clearest impression was something horrible was happening to Lancer's feet.

X

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Neither Carly nor Marissa noticed at first when Lancer fell silent and stiffened. They were still going rather loudly back and forth about Marissa's response to her twin's pregnancy. Carly never could decide what attracted her attention first; the low, continuous growl which was so at odds with their laughter, or the sudden flare of light. Marissa knew it was the feet. She stared, too overwhelmed and horrified to make a sound.

"Lancer...?" Carly asked, as Lancer's paring knife hit the counter. Then Carly started screaming. Marissa shuddered to her feet and backed against the counter when the tail fell to the floor and slithered over her leg like a warm dry snake.

X

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Springer was the first to notice something was up with Rodimus. Magnus seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, Arcee was sun-bathing, and Hot Rod and Foul Play were having a contest over who had the biggest bruise. Hot Rod's twin had been sleeping comfortably on the raft, but now he looked like he was having convulsions. His teeth were bared, and his hands clenched the thick rubber of the inner-tube so hard Springer feared it might burst. This was a matter of great concern to Springer since he rather liked the inner tube. He figured Rodimus was having a bad dream, and that it made total sense to just wake him up.

"Hey, Rodimus!" Springer shouted cheerfully.

Magnus turned curiously, took in the situation with the instantaneous insight of one who had similar dreams, and tried to shout a warning at Springer. He remembered in a sick flash of the warnings Rodimus had given them on that first, confusing evening to be careful around them when they slept. Inside the house, they could all hear Carly start screaming. An instant later, there was a horrendous snarl, and a monster with a vague resemblance to Lancer came through the nearest window. Springer's head jerked around with the rest of them at the sound, but his hand was already in motion. If anything Magnus' shout, and Lancer's sudden, shocking appearance lent more force to his hand than he would have normally used.

Lancer launched herself from the side of the pool, and was airborne when Springer's hand made hard contact with her dreaming mate. Rodi's response to being touched during a nightmare was as violent and intense as ever. His hand lashed out with the entire force of all his torture-fueled hate - but it encountered only air. Lancer's dive drove her and Springer to the bottom of the pool, but at least they would both live to blame each other for the bruises. Rodimus was much deeper asleep than usual though...he had let himself get far too relaxed, and now was deeper into his dream than he'd been since long before he could shape-shift from human to robot. His dreaming mind sought to make things as close to what he was remembering as it could. In the middle of Spike's pool, the horror-ridden young man shifted into a horror-ridden Autobot Commander.

"Get out of the pool!" Magnus roared, glad that even Foul Play and Spike responded to his voice as if they'd been doing it their whole lives. Pure terror lent them all a grace they weren't normally capable of as the inner-tube was crushed under Rodimus' suddenly inhuman weight. The water level rose violently and flooded over the sides with a roar.

Spike's first thought (as he struggled to stay upright in the tidal wave) was that Rodimus was playing some kind of sick prank, and was damaging the pool as a result. He was incensed at the damage being done to his property. Then he got a good look at Rodi's face and realized this was no joke, but a deadly serious problem. Whatever was happening to Rodi was obviously no fun at all for the Autobot, and Spike feared for his sanity. He quit worrying about his pool and panicked over the safety of his family. He could hear Danny wailing from inside and located Carly quickly since she was still screaming from where she stood in the doorway. He ran to her side and could only pray that the Autobot in the pool didn't take his aggression out on their home.

Arcee shrieked as well - overwhelmed by shock and fear. She looked frantically for her mate and wasn't comforted much when Lancer dragged a stunned Springer out of the pool by force (he had hit his head slightly on the bottom). Hot Rod and Foul Play clung to each other and gawked. Foul Play's stunned mind could only stare at both Rodimus and the transformed Lancer and wonder what else could possibly happen to her and if she could take it without going quite, quite insane. Not, that she would ever dream of admitting she was frightened. Afraid of an Autobot? Hah! Just please please please don't let him turn those flaring green optics this way! At least she understood how Rodi and Magnus suddenly allied themselves...they had way too much in common. Hot Rod didn't know what he intended to do if Rodimus became violent, but he was determined Foul Play wasn't going to be hurt by that menacing looking robot. Err...

Lancer got her hands under Springer's arm pits and her tail around his body. Her taloned heels clamped onto the side of the pool and she snarled in frustration as she tried to lift his weight, especially when the water receded and she no longer had its support to aid her. Magnus rushed to help her - his mind too overloaded to really look at her until they got Springer out of the pool. It wasn't until Springer was safely on the side, and that barbed tail unwound itself, that Magnus thought to question what was happening to her. Lancer's attention was totally on Rodimus, and little wonder. Magnus recognized that blank, unseeing look only too well, and felt real terror. He knew his own violent flashbacks were dangerous enough when he was with his fellow Autobots...if Rodimus started fighting here, in this frail human dwelling, with no one of like size to control him..... Why did he have to be so damned BIG? It gave Magnus a whole new respect for the humans who worked and fought with Transformers on a regular basis.

Magnus stared at what he saw as the only slim hope they might have and shuddered. Lancer had undergone a transformation of her own, and looked none too sane herself. The horns, and the taloned nails on her hands and feet appeared wicked enough to mere flesh, but what good would they be against forty feet of traumatized Autobot? Rodimus' optics were green and insane, but as yet he was utterly still. The look on his face was that of absolute hatred, transforming it into an alien visage which had not the slightest resemblance to their Hot Rod. He made no noise, although from his expression he should have been ranting.

The others were also making comparisons to Magnus and his flashbacks - it was the only real reference point they had, and they could only wonder what could have inspired the hate-filled expression on a face they were so used to seeing smile nearly incessantly.

Lancer was silent herself as she jumped down into the pool which now contained no more than three feet of water. She rushed up to Rodimus (he took no apparent notice) and laid her hands on his immobile leg. There was a flare of white energy where she touched him that matched the equally white glow in her eyes. She shut them, and rested her head against his cold metal body-shell. No one moved or breathed for a long moment.

Hot Rod clutched Foul Play protectively near the edge of the pool. Arcee had her eyes on Springer, but she was afraid running to him would set Rodimus off. Spike and Carly stared from the doorway, and Magnus grasped Springer firmly - wondering if he could move the triple-changer fast enough if Rodimus did start to thrash. Marissa (once she decided she wasn't hallucinating) let her training take over and pulled Hot Rod and Foul Play further away from Rodimus (not that she thought a few more yards would help much.) Marissa knew a flashback when she saw one, and she already knew Rodimus was prone to them, so the fact he was flashing wasn't what stunned her. Even the fact that he was in robot form didn't bother her as much as the others because she was used to dealing with 'Bots and 'Cons. (His size was, ironically, making the biggest impression on the humanized Transformers who were used to being that size, not confronting it as humans.) Marissa (and the other two humans) was far more disconcerted by Lancer's gruesome appearance. Her training covered flashbacks, and it covered berserk Transformers, but white-eyed demon women hadn't been included in EDC's courses.

Suddenly, Lancer opened her glowing eyes, and drew back slightly. Rodimus' locked limbs sagged slightly, and then his body shifted back to human as he collapsed. He curled up around himself in the shallow water, and Lancer wrapped her arms and tail protectively around him. They didn't move. People started picking themselves up slowly from around the sides. Foul Play wrenched herself away from Hot Rod's grasp, and tried to convince herself that she hadn't been frightened, and hadn't been very glad he'd been there to hold her. Unlike the Decepticon, Hot Rod stared at his twin and acknowledged the cold fear which curled around inside him. He knew enough of Magnus' history to know what it took to cause such a reaction and couldn't imagine himself ever experiencing anything that harsh and coming out of it in any way sane. It was one of the things he respected most about his uncle.

Arcee ran to Springer's side and held him while he coughed up the water he'd swallowed when Lancer tackled him. Springer was a bit bruised and scraped up, but he whispered reassurances to Arcee that he was fine. Arcee wasn't very reassured - this was completely outside her experience and she was feeling very off-balance. It was not a feeling she welcomed. Magnus briefly checked to be sure that everyone was basically unhurt, and then stepped down into the pool. Marissa came running to the side of the pool - her instinctive reaction was to help the couple in the water - but she stopped short at the edge, uncertain whether or not it was best to disturb them now.

Magnus had only taken a few steps towards Lancer and Rodimus when Lancer's head suddenly snapped up. Her eyes were still glowing white, and she growled softly at him, baring long fangs. Magnus stopped. He wasn't afraid, but the warrior in him had a healthy respect for the claws she had grasped so carefully around her mate's shoulders, and he didn't want to upset her more than she was. Right now, she seemed more like a cornered animal than the woman they'd come to know, and he respected the warning she was giving him. He kept his eyes locked on hers (knowing that if she were about to spring, he'd get his warning there) and waited.

Rodi's eyes suddenly snapped open, and the trembling abruptly ceased. In that instant, he regained total control over himself, and touched Lancer's hand soothingly to let her know he was back. It wasn't until he did that that Lancer took her feral stare off of Magnus and began exhibiting more normal emotion. The demonic traits vanished, but she reinstated her embrace around Rodimus. This time, Rodimus returned the comfort - something his mate seemed to need to regain control of herself. Finally, they straightened.

"Was anyone hurt?" Rodimus asked fearfully.

"YES!" Arcee said, slightly hysterically, "Springer got hurt!"

Lancer looked over at the slight contusions on Springer's forehead. "He'll live," she growled. She made no effort to conceal the changes in her voice - that cat was well out of the bag - she was just glad that a few scrapes had been the worst of it. Rodimus had already been shifting to Autobot form as he'd thrown that punch, and Lancer knew he was capable of killing in his sleep even as a full-human. If the blow had landed it might well have taken Springer's head right off his shoulders.

"Well," Rodimus said to Magnus with an embarrassed smile, "your flashbacks are noisier, but mine win because they are messier!" He waved a hand to indicated the flooded yard, and the twisted glass from Carly's violated kitchen window.

"You are impossible Rodimus. You are completely impossible," Magnus growled in disgusted relief. He too, was counting them all lucky. "I'll consider myself recovered on the day I can joke about something like that, but you could have warned us we might suddenly be facing you as a robot you know!"

"I didn't know. I've never shifted mid-dream before."

"Great!" Spike snapped. "You're sleeping outside from now on! What would have happened if you did that in the house?!" The man sounded completely overwrought.

"That's not a bad idea," Rodimus said seriously. He was disturbed by this new development, and wondered if anyone would ever be truly safe around him.

"Oh, don't start pulling that shit, Rodimus. That was my line remember?" Lancer snarled. "It wouldn't have happened at all if Springer had kept his hands off. That's what we should have told them! How did you manage to fall asleep out here anyway?"

"I don't know...I guess its just been too long since I felt this safe." Rodi confessed, shame-faced.

"You did," Magnus said.

"What?" Rodimus asked.

"You did warn us. The first night you arrived you warned us not to bother you when you were sleeping. Some of us just forgot," Magnus said, leveling his eyes at Springer.

"I should have known better anyway," Springer said, sober for once. "I know better than to mess with you when you're having similar problems," he told his commanding officer. "I don't know why I thought Rodi here would be any different." Lancer snorted sardonically.

"That's not important. I shouldn't have let myself fall asleep. I can't imagine what I was thinking," Rodimus said, making no effort to hide his very acute embarrassment and disgust with himself.

Lancer snarled under her breath, and Rodimus threw her a sharp glance. Aren't you down yet? he sent with concern. She sighed, and nodded at him, visibly shaking off the last of her panic-induced anger. His flashbacks were always as emotionally upsetting for her as they were for him, and this time it was coupled with her concern over his unexpected transformation. Lancer was having a hard time calming down. She wasn't too thrilled about the way Marissa was studying her either.

"Are you sure you're both OK?" the EDC Captain asked sincerely. She was looking Lancer over for cuts, knowing the young woman had gone through glass to get to her flashing mate, but there were no wounds apparent.

Lancer nodded. "We're old-hands at this Marissa, although he's never switched forms before."

"So...um..." Marissa paused awkwardly, unsure how to continue tactfully, "Your transformation is not unexpected, I take it." In spite of everything else, Lancer's transformation had the full-humans the most spooked, although the others found it eerie too. Somehow it was easier to accept shape-shifting from Rodimus, who they knew wasn't human, than from one of their own. The demonic aspect didn't help either.  
Lancer sighed, and Rodi took her hand in support. "Yeah, well. Let's just say I'm not like other girls."

"We knew that already," Magnus said. "After all, you're mated to Hot Rodimus over there." Rodimus stuck his tongue out at Magnus. "See what I mean," Magnus went on without missing a beat. "Maybe you should tell us everything." This last sentence was uttered without a trace of humor, although it wasn't quite up to threat-level yet.

Rodimus and Lancer shared another long glance, during which Marissa was positive they were discussing the matter. Lancer seemed resistant at first, but she finally nodded at her mate who gave her an encouraging smile. Carly finally recovered her wits enough to suggest they all go inside to calm down and talk about it. She could sense a long story a mile off. No one said anything about the mess in the yard...they didn't want to deal with it at the moment. Spike could only hope the local sewers could handle the brief flood sloshing its way down the street from his decimated lawn. The only up-side to the mess that he could see was that Optimus would pay for the damages. Perhaps THIS mess wasn't really the fault of Optimus' own people, but Spike knew that after all the other wild stories Op wouldn't ask too many questions about this particular expense. He chanted his "Op owes me" litany to himself. Even if it wasn't technically accurate, it gave Spike comfort in times of stress.

When they went into the kitchen, the first thing any of them noticed was that the window hadn't been shattered - it had been melted.

"Oh I can't WAIT to hear the explanation for this one," Springer said, flopping down in his chair. The chair creaked in protest, and there were puddles all over Carly's floor since no one had thought to dry off. For once, Carly didn't notice. Most of the others followed suit, although Hot Rod lurked by the door for a while, staring at his twin. Lancer and Rodi sat on their counter.

Continued in Part B


	2. Chapter 2

Maelstrom Chapter 31  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 2 B

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 31  
Conversations in the Kitchen  
Chapter 2  
Getting to Know Everything About you  
Part B

Conversations in The Kitchen Chapter 2  
Part B

Continued from Part A!

"I'm a mutant." Lancer told them bluntly. "My body stores and releases energy. I blasted the glass as I went through it."

They stared at her as if they had no idea what she was talking about.

"A what?" Carly finally managed.

"A mutant. A genetically aberrant human. My nervous system runs on much higher energy levels than a flat-line human. It allows me to absorb and release power at will, in pretty much any form and intensity I like, within limits."

"She a walking battery," Rodimus quipped. "And I never need to look for a flash-light when she's around."

"There was a moment of silence while they digested this. They remembered her white, glowing eyes, and the flare of energy up Rodi's metal leg. "How much energy?" Magnus asked cautiously.

"It varies depending on the type, and how much I have stored, but I can absorb on average of about thirty direct hits from your average Autobot blaster. That's if I'm storing it all. If I'm using the energy for something, like say, to blast back, I can go on indefinitely. There are limits to my reserves of course, so I usually try to conserve if I don't have a reliable source to draw from." She demonstrated by arcing a small lance back and forth between her hands.

"Cool!" Hot Rod said with enthusiasm. He sat down at the table with his chair backwards. Spike had never wanted to smack him so badly before.

"Ah...of course," Magnus said facetiously. She made it sound like they encountered energy-absorbent humans on a daily basis. Foul Play wondered if the Decepticons in Lancer's dimension were as disrespectful of humans as her own people were.

Lancer then found herself trying (with difficulty) to explain exactly what a mutant was. It shocked her a bit. In her home universe mutants weren't commonly seen, but only because the Jabez usually got to them young. They were prevalent enough to be the focus of everything from serious newscasts and scientific studies to cheesy talk-shows and tabloids. From the way talk constantly swirled over "the mutant problem", everyone was an expert on human evolution, and what exactly constituted a human being. It had been the lack of such debate in the local paper which had helped Lancer and Rodimus decide the Jabez probably weren't active in this dimension - or at least they weren't guiding human breeding to produce mutants. To be confronted with people who didn't have any idea of what it meant to be a mutant was a new experience for Lancer. She and Rodimus did their best to explain things without going into the Jabez hand in fostering mutation.

"Um...Is that why, you ..err..." Carly started, and then trailed off.

"Turned into a gruesome Exorcist reject? No. Well. Not directly anyway." Lancer said, and she went on to describe the details of her possession. By the time she was done even Magnus was shuddering.

"It...it invaded your mind?" he asked, the tremor in his voice resulting more from old memories than just the idea of her possession.

"Claudia..a friend of ours...always classified it as a psychic rape. I think its an apt comparison," Rodimus said gravely. Marissa noticed Lancer's white-knuckled grip on his fingers.

"The whole demon shape was my fault in a way," Lancer went on. "I was just a dumb kid, and to me mental invasion meant demonic possession. If you grow up on Earth, watching B-movies on Saturday afternoons, that's the first thing you think of. Since the entity was feeding off of my fear and pain, it did what it could to frighten me more. Warping my body into what I was imagining was just its way of torturing me. Now, when I'm similarly frightened or upset, my body changes, even though the entity itself was destroyed."

"Th..that's horrible." Foul Play said, looking at Lancer with real respect and compassion. Lancer smiled at her, knowing as Foul Play couldn't that she had left the ranks of the Decepticons forever, in her heart at least.

"It's OK, Foul Play. When you have friends to help you, you can overcome just about anything. It took me a long, long time to really put it behind me, but I did because I had people who were willing to stand by me through it all. I still find it amazing they put up with all my crap for so long. I am rather easier to piss off since I was possessed, and for some reason no one tells me I'm beautiful when I'm angry." She smiled at her mate who sent mushy nonsense back at her until she giggled a little. He looked pleased with himself.

"Doesn't it hurt?' Marissa asked, remembering too well how the bones in Lancer's feet had popped when they both blurred together and split apart. She also remembered the talons pushing their way violently through the skin, and didn't even want to think about where the horns and tail were coming from.

"A little, but my more mundane mutant powers give me a lot of control over nerve impulses. I can block a significant portion of the pain."

"Not all of it though," Rodimus said, giving her fingers a squeeze.

Lancer shrugged. "Anyway, I fought a very long time for control over this reaction. I have it pretty well locked down. I can do it voluntarily if I want to, but every now and then I change whether I like it or not....usually when I'm frightened, hurt , or angry. Even then I'm usually in control of myself, but in its most profound state, I can go berserk. It takes extreme provocation - like a bad battle, or say incredibly vivid memories of my mate being viciously tortured to send me over the edge, but I'm really not myself when that happens. It's usually best to give me space when it does. I can get really violent under those circumstances. Are you sorry yet that you didn't let us escape at the start?" Lancer tried to keep her voice calm and frank, although she couldn't really hide how uncomfortable talking about this made her.

The humans, long used to associating demons with the worst evil, did their best to accept this explanation calmly. It wasn't easy. Carly in particular had a hard time getting past the demonic appearance, and she and Spike also worried about Daniel's safety. Hot Rod and Foul Play thought it was rather interesting to meet a human-transformer, and were more interested in the physical manifestations than anything else. Arcee thought it was just ugly. Ultra Magnus thought back on how the Quintissons had made him into what they wanted by messing with his head, and the similar danger he sometimes presented to those around him. Magnus the Killing Machine. He remembered only too well the time he'd spent in darkness, snarling like a beast, Optimus' initial distrust and accusations, and the inquisition which followed the incident with Sideswipe.... He shuddered in sympathy, knowing the kind of fight Lancer must have had getting herself under control, and the kind of self-doubt she must have suffered. At least he now understood why she wasn't afraid of HIM.

Springer made a mental note to never ever ever get on her bad side again.

"Which reminds me!" Marissa said suddenly. "HOW DID YOU KNOW RODI WAS FLASHING? We didn't hear anything, and you were.. err.. fanged-out and through the window before Rodimus went Autobot!" She couldn't help but feel smug that she'd caught them red-handed, even if they still tried to deny it.

"Well, um...you see," Rodimus said, deciding life would be more peaceful if they gave Marissa what she wanted, "Lancer and I, well, we have this sort of telepathic link, and well...we can read each other's minds." He gave them his best grin, as if that would help it go down easier.

Hot Rod got dizzy.

"What?" asked Magnus, trying to ignore Marissa's gloating smile.

Lancer and Rodimus looked at each other and sighed. "Do you want to explain it or shall I?" Rodi asked tiredly. Hot Rod shook his head, to Rodi's amusement...the kid kept nearly fainting, but he was getting over it quicker every time.

"You," Lancer said.

"Figures. Um...well, its sort of like a constantly open channel on a very private frequency. The most major difference between our link and say, inter-Autobot radio is that for us, it takes more effort to shield the other OUT than to keep the lines open. Also, it isn't affected by distance. It would be easier to explain if you knew something about telepathy, but you don't have that many mutants here."

"You can hear each other's thoughts," Spike stated flatly.

"And share sensations, which is good sometimes, but bad if either of us is hurt or sick," Rodimus explained.

"You've got a woman in your head all the time?" Magnus said dryly. "You poor thing. No wonder you're so screwed up."

Marissa smacked him on the arm. Lancer sent a small bolt of electricity at him and numbed his left arm from the shoulder down.

"AH-HA!" Magnus said. "So that's how you got away! I'm finally understanding your name too!"

"Is that how you kept him still during his flashback the other night?" Marissa asked at the same instant. Magnus tried not to let the mention of his "spell" upset or embarrass him.

"Yeah," Lancer said with a smile. "You're right on all counts."

"True!" Marissa said. "Nerve pinch my ass! And I wasn't even wrong about those silent arguments either! Sign language indeed!" Marissa had completely gotten over all the repeated shocks through pride in her powers of observation. She turned towards Magnus. "I told you I wasn't crazy."

"Oh...you were right, but you're still crazy." Magnus said, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Is that how you kept Rodimus still this afternoon?" Arcee asked, remembering only too well her fear he would thrash the way Magnus did.

"No," Rodimus said softly. "She could do it if she had to, but she didn't. My memories don't include being able to move at all." He paused, and sighed. "I was completely bound and helpless, and my flashbacks lock my limbs accordingly."

"And you knew," Marissa said, looking at Lancer, "even before he went Autobot on us, and changed."

"Yes," Lancer said, noticing how uncomfortable Magnus in particular looked. (Spike and Carly hadn't really gotten past the whole "demon" thing yet, and Springer was clutching his head as if to stop it from spinning. Arcee and Foul Play were just digesting everything, and Hot Rod didn't look like he was following much of anything yet.)

"What's wrong Magnus?" Rodimus asked.

"I don't think I could take that. No time to yourself...no secrets at all...Isn't it distracting?"

"She knows everything Magnus. Absolutely everything....and I'm GLAD." Rodimus said, locking eyes with Magnus earnestly.

X

X

X

The table got a brief run-down of the reasons for Rodi's flashbacks. Hot Rod managed not to faint, but somehow managed to look sicker for it. He gave his uncle a desperate look, and Magnus tried to calm him with a look which said "We'll talk later." Hot Rod settled back, trusting his uncle, but still very disturbed. He couldn't decide whether it was concern for Rodimus or fear for himself, but he sure didn't like the sound of what happened.

"Bright light?" Spike asked, when they finally got down to the actual trigger.

Rodimus nodded. "I was on an examining table, being...examined," was all he said or needed to say. "It was stupid of me to relax in the sun. Like I said, it's been a long while since I've been in a situation where I could really drop my guard. I guess I've forgotten how."

"It's that bad?" Spike asked, having difficulty imagining any version of Hot Rod not remembering how to have a good time.

"Well, lets just say we never go unarmed for a very good reason OK? The bounty on Lancer's head alone could buy someone a small, private planet. Our resident bad guys find us both... erm... annoying, and with the link between us, even if one of us is somewhere safe, the other usually isn't, and the stress is shared between us. We can't really afford to relax completely. Besides, I'm the boss now, and it keeps me busy. I haven't had this many days off in years, and even then there was always something that simply had to have my glorified, personal attention." Rodimus ended with a sarcastic, self-deprecating snort.

Hot Rod shook his head. All he knew was every senior officer he respected had undergone some kind of trauma, and he was seriously reconsidering any future moves up the ranks. If being an adult meant this kind of pain, Hot Rod would be happy to stay disrespected and young.

"Is your position why you were taken?" Magnus asked, concerned as always about the safety of his nephew and brother. Anything similar was happening to Optimus or Hot Rod over his very dead body.

Rodimus shrugged. "Indirectly, I suppose. I don't think the Jabez really cared who they got, but it was actually a Quint that nabbed me. I wouldn't be at all surprised if that was a deliberate choice - my fighting and leadership styles are too chaotic for the Quints to predict easily, and they found me a pain in the diodes." Rodimus said with a feral grin.

"They aren't the only ones," Springer muttered under his breath, just loud enough for everyone to hear. He gave Rodimus an oh-so-innocent smile when the older man glared at him.

"I think they were very glad to be rid of me," Rodimus went on as if Springer hadn't said anything.

"Ah," said Marissa, "I'm sure they aren't the only ones in that either!"

"Gee, I wonder why I wanted to get away from your dimensional twins? I'm so very glad to end up here so you guys can make up for the abuse I'd be missing from home." Rodimus said snidely. The scattered snickers around the table weren't quite as strong as he'd hoped, but at least they didn't seem to have become completely uncomfortable with each other again. The impromptu "meeting" broke down a bit, and everyone tried to adjust to all this new information. Hot Rod asked Lancer to "put up the horns" for him, much to Carly's dismay. Lancer smiled a bit to herself...her transformation had never bothered her mate either, although he'd had other things on his mind when he'd first been introduced to it. Foul Play came over to watch as well as Lancer showed him her altered form. He seemed delighted, tugging on her horns, testing her nails and talons for sharpness, and mostly playing with her tail. He tugged on it, and laughed when she wrapped it up his arm and pulled him off balance with it.

"COOL!" he exclaimed. "I bet you use that in a fight!'

"True enough," Lancer said. "Ouch! Hey! It is attached you know!"

"Oh. Sorry. Check it out Foul Play! It's warm and everything." Hot Rod said enthusiastically.

"Oh fine! Just pass me around why don't you!" Lancer laughed as Foul Play took hold of her tail and watched it twitch in her palm.

Foul Play looked up at Lancer suddenly, with the sharp, suspicious glare of a Decepticon. "You've been using this on us during training haven't you?"

Lancer smirked. "Testing someone's balance when they are expecting it doesn't count for much," the assassin said.

Foul Play's eyes narrowed. She didn't disagree, but she was having very vivid memories of not only the falls she had taken, but of her consistent, repetitive landing point. Hot Rod. Foul Play had enough respect for Lancer's fighting skills to assume that Lancer could make them fall any way she wanted them to, so why would she send them into each other? Suddenly alert for manipulation, Foul Play analyzed her response to being tangled up in her sparring partner again and again. She doubted it was accidental, and she doubted Lancer was unaware of the response it brought out in Foul Play's body and mind.

The humanized Decepticon didn't know about Hot Rod, but she knew her own uncomfortable yearnings were heightened with each collision. Not that she'd really been aware of them until this moment. Why would Lancer do such a thing? Foul Play couldn't imagine, but as people began leaving the kitchen to collect their thoughts, the young Decepticon did the same. She spent several hours delving into her heart, and trying to fathom the actions of her teacher. If Lancer was mated to Rodimus, an older version of Hot Rod, why would she encourage Foul Play's attraction? If it wasn't encouragement, then what was it? There was only one thing that became clear to Foul Play during this time of soul-searching, and it gave her no comfort at all. She wanted Hot Rod. Badly.

The day went slowly, and everyone retreated to calm down and digest what they'd learned. By evening though, the younger crowd was showing its resiliency by returning to mayhem-as-usual. Hot Rod was back to shouting at his video games, and after a while of hanging tentatively at the door, Foul Play joined him. Lancer and Rodimus were resting against each other on the couch and watching Hot Rod's game. Foul Play gave Lancer a long, suspicious stare as she sat down. Lancer was worried for a minute that the day's events had made Foul Play afraid of her, but then the mutant noticed the very careful distance Foul Play put between herself and Hot Rod when she sat down. Lancer smiled to herself, and settled back further into Rodi's arms, making it ever so clear how content she was to be there. Rodimus sighed, and rolled his eyes.

Why do I suddenly feel like I'm part of an ad campaign? Fresh meat on sale here! Rodimus sent to his unrepentant mate.

Because you are! Now quit complaining and try to look sexy! Lancer ordered.

OK. Just remember ....You asked for it! Rodimus sent. The torment he heaped upon her got cut short when the rest of the adults wandered in, talking about Lancer's transformation.

"She was growling. That was the first thing I noticed." Carly said. She and Spike were still obviously rattled. He held her hand while they sat on the other section of the couch and drank his coffee. It was a hot day, but he drank his coffee anyway. Marissa thought about saying maybe he didn't need the caffeine (he was still trembling with unshed adrenaline) but changed her mind. Even Spike could look a bit dangerous if pushed far enough, and Marissa had a feeling he was teetering on the edge right then and there. Magnus was sitting on the love-seat and bent up the cushions with his weight. He had crushed the stuffing in the last few months to the point that it conformed comfortably to his body and no one else's. The cushions didn't even lay flat when the chair was unoccupied anymore. Marissa knew Spike intended to charge Optimus for new furniture, but right now he was staring at his deformed cushions like an obsessed psychopath. Thank goodness Rodimus and Lancer weren't blatantly destroying anything right now....Spike wouldn't even look at them yet.

"The transformation messes up my vocal cords," Lancer said with a sigh. "It gets worse as I get angrier, like everything else. It's when I can't even growl anymore that I'm out of control."

"Lancer, you make it sound like you only growl when you're fanging!" Rodimus said with a snort. "The truth is guys, she growls all the time just for the heck of it. She's just been censoring herself since we've been here." Lancer stuck her tongue out at him.

"I noticed the feet," Marissa said with a shudder. "You must be hell on shoes, Lancer."

Lancer smiled. "You will notice Hot Rod and I share a tendency to be bare-foot."

"Uh-huh," Magnus said. "I did notice that. What made you notice her feet first Marissa? It took me forever to get past that tail, and I only noticed it because she used it to lift Springer. The first things I saw were the horns and the eyes."

Spike and Magnus were unnerved by the way the three women suddenly perked up and stared at each other. Lancer smiled a slow, self-satisfied smile. It was a terrifying sight. The snickering which followed was even worse. How could they laugh at a time like this? Worst of all (for Magnus) was the lop-sided smirk Rodimus was aiming his direction. It gave Magnus the sinking feeling he was about to be very sorry he asked. Whatever it was, Rodimus didn't have to look so damned smug about it, and Magnus felt the same horror he felt whenever his nephew went around looking that pleased with himself. That expression never meant anything but trouble.

Marissa opened her mouth to answer him, looked at his sour face, and began giggling uncontrollably. She calmed herself with visible effort, drew in a breath to speak, and ended up back on the floor. Magnus gritted his teeth and vowed that he was going to remain calm for this one. Just because the EDC Captain was a puddle on the carpet didn't mean HE had to dignify whatever nonsense put her there with a response. Magnus nodded to himself. Let Rodimus arch an eyebrow at him. Let Lancer smirk. He would prove to them he was above whatever treachery they had in store. No one got the better of Ultra Magnus!

Marissa crawled back up onto the couch and tried again, but ended up just shaking her head helplessly and pointing at Lancer.

"You want me to tell him?" Lancer asked innocently, knowing full-well that was exactly what Marissa wanted, but needing to tease the EDC Captain just a little more for her reaction. Marissa nodded vigorously, and fought to at least still her laughter enough to hear Lancer, and Magnus' response.

"Well, Ultra Magnus, Marissa was on the floor because I told her something about her twin that rather...um...surprised her."

Magnus nodded his understanding, and once more resolved to show no reaction.

Lancer grinned. Anyone who knew Magnus at all could see that resolution all over his stern face. "Magnus, in our dimension Marissa is pregnant with Ultra Magnus' twin sons."

The room fell into stunned silence yet again.

Hot Rod and Foul Play gaped up at Magnus who was suddenly standing over them.

"LOOK OUT! HE'S COMING DOWN!" Foul Play shrieked. She and Hot Rod scrambled for minimum safe distance as Magnus swayed on his feet.

"AHHHH!"

"CATCH HIM!"

"Catch HIM?"

*THUD*

"Oh, boy."

"My coffee table!"

"Prime owes me. He owes me so bad."

X

X

X

Magnus came to slowly to find a circle of faces surrounding him wearing varying shades of concern and amusement.

"W..what happened? I feel like Optimus just ran me over again!"

"Again?" Rodimus asked, but no one answered him.

"Lancer told you that Marissa's twin is going to have twins and you passed out."

"Ahh..." Magnus said sagely, and passed out again.

"At least it isn't me this time," Hot Rod observed.

"I just can't believe I've seen something that made him laugh and something that made him faint all in one week!" Foul Play said.

Rodimus smirked at his mate, and dragged his spread fingers down through the air. "Score ten, Lady Assassin!"

"It was nothing, really," Lancer said with blatant false modesty. "I just had to report about them... Marissa has to carry them!"

Magnus opened his eyes again with a groan, seeing a similar circle of faces with slightly more amusement to go around. This time though, he remembered how he'd gotten there. His eyes met Lancer's as she stared sweetly down at him.

"I really don't like you," he told her. She merely blinked at him - all doe-eyed innocence. "Twins?" he asked incredulously, sitting up with extreme caution. Marissa's hands supported his back. "They are having t..twins?"

"Scary isn't it?" Rodimus said.

"Almost as scary as the thought of you having children at all!" Magnus snapped crankily. They'd gotten the better of him again, and it was time to start thinking of revenge. From the grin on Rodimus' face, the red-head wasn't too worried. How annoying.

"What I find most amusing," Rodimus said, not about to let that testy look go unanswered, "is the way Magnus meekly submits to whatever Marissa tells him. She gets away with saying and doing things Optimus wouldn't dare try! Normally, she's typically right, and he knows better than to argue with her, but since she's been pregnant she's been getting more and more...um...demanding, and he still won't argue with her."

"Well," Lancer said in defense of her friend,"you know what it feels like to be pregnant. How would you react to being the size of a barge at seven months?"

"Hey! I'm not blaming Marissa! I just think its funny how he says 'Yes, dear,' and shuffles off to do whatever she wants!" Rodimus laughed.

"My twin is obviously a wimp," Magnus said coldly.

"You're right," Marissa agreed. "Hey? Could you get me something to drink?"

"Sure. What do you want?" Magnus said.

"Iced tea will be fine," she said, giving him a small kiss as a thank-you. She leaned back on the couch and smiled smugly as they all watched him get up and go to the kitchen.

"Oh, you're good," Rodimus said in plain admiration. Spike and Carly sat starched with amazement. Hot Rod's eyes couldn't have gotten any wider, and Foul Play had her mouth hanging open.

"The worst part about this," the ex-Decepticon said, "is that no one will EVER believe this!"

It wasn't until Ultra Magnus came back in with the iced-tea in a glass (complete with lemon wedge) that the room lost complete control and laughed at him. He handed Marissa her drink, and put his hands on his hips, and his best "Pissed off commander" look on his face, and demanded to know what they were laughing at now. By this point even Lancer was holding her gut and roaring, and Magnus' attempts to intimidate them into behaving only made things worse. He threw his hands up, and stood there wondering when exactly he had lost his ability to glare people into submission. Even Hot Rod was ignoring his sour face, a new and unacceptable development.

It was Rodimus who finally took enough mercy on him to let him in on the joke. Of course, Rodimus simply had to do it by imitating the last few moments of conversation.

"Our Magnus does whatever Marissa wants!" he said, spoofing himself.

He stood up and mimicked Magnus' expression exactly, even folding his arms and standing next to the seething City Commander as he did. "Your Magnus is obviously whipped...er..a wimp!" he growled. Then he sat down on the couch and lounged seductively, "Get me a drink you hunky man you!" he simpered, batting his eyes. He hopped back up, bowed his shoulders, and said "Yes dear." Then he shuffled off towards the kitchen, but only made it as far as the door-frame before he lost all semblance of control. He clutched the door-frame for support, but ended up on the floor.

Marissa was howling, Hot Rod and Foul Play were clinging to each other, and poor Spike was wiping tears from his eyes. Magnus hid his face behind one hand, and stood there. Eventually they figured out he was laughing a little too, but was trying to hide it.

He looked at Marissa with an accusatory glare that somehow still managed to seem amused. "You set me up, you traitor!"

"Well," Marissa said with a grin, "You asked for it!"

"Besides," Rodimus said, "unless you've been pregnant, you have no idea what's it does to your mind. At least I was able to warn my Magnus in advance, and he's just using good survival skills in dealing with her."

"There you go again! Talking like you know what's its like yourself!" Spike snorted. "Come back to reality and wallow in ignorance with the rest of us Rodimus!"

"He does know Spike!" Lancer said, still giggling a little.

"What do you mean, he knows what's it like to be pregnant?" Carly asked indignantly. "He may have fathered your two girls but he doesn't have a clue about pregnancy! I don't care what you've told him!" As a recent mother, this subject was one Carly took very personally.

Lancer grinned. "You forget our mental link, Carly! Do you think I endured nine months of enforced idleness, morning sickness, back aches, swollen ankles and labor- false and otherwise without letting the perpetrator suffer with me? He missed the ride during my first pregnancy, but I made sure he got the full dose during the second! Believe me! You are looking at the one man who really does know!"

Rodimus smirked.

"The disgusting thing is that it hasn't dissuaded him in the slightest!" Lancer continued.

"I think it's the coolest thing, ever,"Rodimus said. "I keep trying to convince her to give it another go but she just hits me whenever I suggest it."

"Be glad I don't do more than hit you! It's too soon, and I can't keep up with the ones we have now! He never lets up!"

This time the laughter was at Rodi's expense, not that he cared. "I can't help it," he said. "I love my kids. They're like magic!"

"Yeah, well, the magic is the result of long, boring months of maternity-leave for yours truly," Lancer said, "and if you remember, you barely survived the last time! I'm surprised you want to go through it ever again!"

"I know when to duck, when to sympathize, when to say "Yes Dear!" and when to run like hell! Who do you suppose taught Ultra Magnus?"

Lancer snorted skeptically, and everyone else took turns teasing him. Somehow they all sensed Ultra Magnus had had quite enough for one day. He flopped back down in "his" love-seat and said, "Well, at least I don't have to worry about that!"

The laughter took off again. One of the doors upstairs banged open. Springer's irritated voice floated down "Keep it down will you?! Some of us are trying to...to..you know!" The door slammed shut.

X

X

X

Foul Play didn't know what she planned to say, but she knew she wanted... needed to talk to Lancer. The former Decepticon wanted something, and she was used to just going after what she wanted, but she was afraid. She had never wanted anything quite like this before.

Since realizing she was attracted to Hot Rod, Foul Play had become somewhat obsessed. She couldn't stop brooding over the pitfalls she felt surrounded her and separated her from him. His family. Her past. And yes, even Lancer. Foul Play was fairly certain of what HIS family would do if they knew a Decepticon had designs on the heir-apparent - namely shoot her. Then again, Ultra Magnus had protected her from the other's bullying...then again that didn't mean he wanted her with his nephew. Still, his lack of overt aggression gave her hope. Even Springer seemed to laugh with her more than at her these days. She didn't even want to think about Optimus and Elita, so she didn't (much). They seemed so far away anyhow. Somehow the Witwicky home seemed to be a universe to itself, far away from the war she'd lived in all her life.

She shuddered a little. Life with her fellow Decepticons seemed like a bad, if familiar, dream right now, and she was less sure by the day she could ever dream it again.

That was why she both needed and dreaded talking to Lancer. What if Foul Play was only imagining that Lancer was encouraging them both? Then again, the mutant was an outsider the Autobots had accepted as their leader's mate. Lancer knew a lot about Rodimus too, and could maybe lend some advise on how to approach his young twin. But maybe that was a potential problem too - would Lancer be angry if someone besides the assassin's own twin went after Hot Rod? Would she mock Foul Play's desires? Would she help a Decepticon?

Then there was Hot Rod himself. Bare-footed, grass stained, totally clueless Mr. Video-Games. How in the hell was HE going to react?

All of this was doing quite a number on poor Foul Play's stomach as she approached the kitchen. She paused just outside the door, thinking that they hadn't noticed her yet, listening to Rodimus softly cursing their scattered teleporter. She leaned against the wall and tried to summon her courage for a few minutes. The cursing stopped.

She was trying to think of a plausible excuse to get Lancer to talk to her in private when Rodi's face poked out of the door unexpectedly.

Caught plotting against him, and taken completely by surprise by those silent feet, Foul Play yelped guiltily. (Since when are Decepticons guilty over planning lies?)

"Foul Play?" he asked. "We heard you come down the hall...is something wrong? Do you need something?"

If he was at all suspicious (as she would have been) it didn't show, and for some reason what came out of her mouth was completely unlike what she planned to say.

"Umm I just wanted to talk to Lancer but I can see you're busy so nevermind it wasn't important forget it!" she stammered in one long breath. It was bad enough she had to start talking like ANY cursed Autobot, but even if she did why did it have to be Blurr?

Rodimus blinked in surprise, and his eyes twinkled a little with amusement, but he didn't outright laugh at her. She couldn't believe it.

"Ah..." he said, "I see." Now why did that neutral expression make her feel like he was smirking? "Well, I think I need to go stretch my legs a bit anyway." Off he went down the hall before Foul Play could say another word. Catching Springer and Hot Rod in the hall on the way to the kitchen prompted an unusual spurt of pure Rodi mischief. He whacked them both on the head as he passed, and teased them into chasing him out of the house.

Continued in Part C


	3. Chapter 3

Maelstrom Chapter 31  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 2 C

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 31  
Conversations in the Kitchen  
Chapter 2  
Getting to Know Everything About you  
Part C

Continued from Part B!

In the kitchen, Lancer smiled to herself. It was so considerate of him to play decoy and give her some uninterrupted time with Foul Play. Hot Rod's presence in particular was likely to be detrimental to her schemes. She smiled wider at the proud Decepticon huddling timidly by the door frame.

"Hi Foul Play!" Lancer said encouragingly, meeting the girl's eyes. "What's up?"

Still off balance from the encounter with Rodi, all of Foul Play's carefully crafted options for how to begin evaporated.

"Why are you always throwing me up against Hot Rod? Do you want me to want him?!" Foul Play blurted. She cursed herself inwardly. Wrong. That was all wrong. She was in for it now!

"Do you want him?" Lancer asked quietly, compassionately.

Foul Play's eyes widened. She felt them swimming with repressed frustration, terror, and loneliness. It all came crashing down on her in that instant - all the fear of this new form, of living with enemies, of the changes within her own soul that she couldn't stop or understand. Life had been so much simpler before. Hard, but simple, like a knife blade. Then it had merely been a matter of following orders and watching her back. Now she didn't know who or even what she was.

Who was she to be confronting this woman? Asking help of her? To ask for help amongst the Decepticons was to admit weakness - and the weak never survived. Why was Lancer looking at her with ever more apparent concern when Foul Play didn't answer? Why should Lancer care? Why should anyone? Foul Play nearly wished that Lancer would look at her with derision - at least Foul Play could have understood that.

"I..." Foul Play paused, and swallowed hard, "I...." She sighed gustily and stared at the ceiling - the lights seemed painfully bright. Surely that was why her eyes were watering. She bowed her head. "yes," she whispered. She sat down at the table and buried her head in her arms. She heard Lancer getting up to move to the chair next to her, but it wasn't until the mutant put an arm around Foul Play's shoulders that the Decepticon lost control of the tears. She didn't sob, but her arms got quite damp.

"It's all right," Lancer said.

"No it isn't. It never will be! I'm a Decepticon!" Foul Play said bitterly, quietly. "He's an Autobot! And naturally he just had to be Prime's son!"

"Well, no matter what happens, it won't be easy Foul Play, but you and Hot Rod are both strong, intelligent people. It's going to be hard, but it isn't hopeless." Lancer said with quiet conviction.

"How would you know?" Foul Play said sullenly.

Lancer smiled sadly. "I know from my own experiences, and I know it is possible for Autobots to accept Decepticons if they change - we have a few of them back home, most notably Blitzwing."

"Blitzwing? That arrogant, dim-witted, loud mouth?" Foul Play exclaimed.

"Yup. That one, although his wits are less dim now that he actually thinks about things once and a while," Lancer said.

"But...how?...Why....?" the young Decepticon stammered. She couldn't continue. Blitzwing!

"The "Why" isn't really important right now," Lancer said. "It's a long story which isn't really relevant to your problem. What you DO need to know is that he's not "Blitzwing The Decepticon" to the Autobots anymore. He's just Blitzwing. Or even just Blitz. It wasn't easy, but even those who had old grudges against him from all the years of fighting now work beside him and trust him with their lives in combat and at home. He ceased to be an opposing soldier, and became an individual. You've already seen the process at work. The Autobots here think of you as part of their group. If they ever think of you as a Decepticon, the thought is immediately followed by surprise that they trust you as much as they do."

"M..maybe..." Foul Play mused, "but that's only because Magnus defended me, and kept them from hurting me or driving me so crazy I hurt them! It gave them time to realize I was too scared to try anything stupid!" Foul Play stopped, once again, in amazement at herself. Had she just admitted to being scared? She had - and without even realizing it was coming. Her survival skills were deteriorating at an appalling rate. She knew Lancer wouldn't hurt her somehow, but would she keep up with the carelessness when she went back? She was afraid she would. She was very afraid she would.

"How do you know he won't defend you again?" Lancer asked. "I think he rather respects you. He knows none of this can have been easy for you."

"He'll probably kill me himself if he learns I'm attracted to his precious nephew!" Foul Play said. It was meant to sound defiant, but her voice betrayed her by quavering. The thought of facing an angry Ultra Magnus still scared her nearly witless.

Lancer snorted and chuckled a little. "He may surprise you. However, if he DOES go ballistic then he's going to have to go through Rodi and me to get to you." She patted Foul Play's hand comfortingly. Foul Play stared down at their hands in total amazement - she was completely unused to having allies who didn't have some "use" for her.

"You really do want to help me! Why? What about your twin? Don't you want her to have Hot Rod if she exists?"

Lancer smiled sadly again. "I do want to help you, Foul Play. I think you and Hot Rod would be good for each other. We aren't all that unlike each other, you and I anyway. You are a strong person, and no matter what, his mate is going to have to be strong to put up with him. To keep up with him. I think you have the ...endurance, and the will to kick him in the ass when he needs it."

"As for my possible twin, if she even exists in this dimension she is likely to be a civilian human with no desire to come within ten miles of any Transformer. My mutancy has led me down this warrior's road, otherwise I'd have been delighted to live a quiet life with no conflict whatsoever. If she and Hot Rod ever did meet, she wouldn't have the strength to deal with him, and he'd probably find her quite dull. Besides, you're a Transformer, and you are definitely my first pick over any human, even myself."

Foul Play blinked at her, uncomprehending. Having lived her whole life among people who boasted their superiority for any and all circumstances, she wasn't used to someone freely admitting they might not be well suited for something... or someone.

Lancer saw her confusion and answered it. "Foul Play, we humans don't live very long. I have to continually remind Rodimus that some day my body will give out and I will leave him alone. I wish he would look at other Transformers that way. Cybertron gets more females all the time these days, but he doesn't look at them as potential mates. It makes me crazy. I can't stand the thought that he might live most of his life alone, and if this dimension's Hot Rod can avoid that trap, so much the better!"

"You mean you encourage him to find someone else?!" Foul Play gasped.

"If I sensed the slightest bit of interest on his part, I'd light the candles myself!" Lancer said firmly, ignoring Rodimus' disgusted sendings. She could see though that Foul Play didn't understand the reference to candles at all. Lancer smiled apologetically for confusing her. "Yes, I encourage him. He, however, remains stubbornly unaffected."

Foul Play was once again amazed, as she had been when the others had helped Magnus through his flashback. These people really cared about each other. Really! To the point they were willing to sacrifice their own best interests for each other. She suddenly wished she could explain this to her fellow Decepticons. It was real! All of the "propaganda" the Autobots spread about sticking together, and caring for each other was real, and yet the Decepticons were raised thinking it was all trickery. They thought of themselves as being the honest ones, who displayed their greed for power openly instead of shrouding it in a complicated web of "friendships". Oh how she wanted to show them they were wrong, but knew, in her heart, that they wouldn't believe her anymore than they did the occasional Autobot who tried to convince them. Having never experienced it, they couldn't comprehend it. Mere words weren't enough. Even she, having lived amongst these people, having had their kind of support for herself, was only now just beginning to understand the scope of it. She was only just beginning to even recognize it for what it was. Its power awed her - and yet she knew she hadn't plumbed the depths of it yet. She felt great sorrow for her ignorant people, and wished she could somehow create a situation in which they could also discover it for themselves.

Lancer watched Foul Play muse a while, and then continued. "In the end Foul Play, it doesn't much matter what I think, or what Rodi thinks, or even what Magnus thinks. What matters is what you think - and how much you are willing to endure for Hot Rod - and how much he is willing to endure for you. If he isn't interested, I'm afraid none of the rest of it matters...not even how much you want him."

"I....I know...." Foul Play whispered. "I'm afraid he doesn't want me. I'm even more afraid of that than of Magnus. I almost wish I could stop wanting him so I wouldn't need to face him about it - it would be much easier."

Lancer snorted, "Yes, it would. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Believe me, I tried."

Foul Play sobbed a little, and Lancer squeezed her hand.

"I wish I could go back to being what I was!" the Decepticon sniffled.

"No you don't," Lancer said.

"I wouldn't be facing living with these yearnings for the rest of my life!" Foul Play said harshly.

Lancer cocked an eyebrow. "You haven't talked to him yet Foul Play. It's a little soon for dire predictions, you're starting to sound like Dead End." Lancer smiled to herself, pleased to have produced the desired giggles from her student, who sniffled and smiled at the same time.

"I'm just nervous that's all," Foul Play admitted, "I've never...felt this way about anything. Nothing's ever been this important to me before. I...I don't think I cared about myself as much as I care about Hot Rod. I was just...existing. Now...I want to live. When I'm with him...I do. I live. If I lose him, I'm afraid I won't anymore."

Lancer sighed. She knew what Foul Play meant, and she heard it from Rodimus in reference to her whenever she threw her mortality in his face. She gave Foul Play the same answer she gave her mate.

"You'll live. It will just take more effort on your part. That's what love gives us Foul Play - it makes living simpler. When we see something beautiful, when there is something we enjoy, it seems better when there is someone to share it. And bad things seem easier to endure when we aren't alone. However, the beauty and enjoyment are there for us even when we're alone, as is the strength to endure - it's just a little harder, that's all. If Hot Rod isn't interested, you must accept that, but you must not quit trying. It IS possible to fall in love more than once, and it is possible to live by yourself. You are a worthwhile person, and you deserve to live....and you will, no matter how things with Hot Rod turn out. However, and keep in mind I could be misreading him, I do think he is interested Foul Play, but you have to talk to him. Most of what you fear will really be his to endure."

Foul Play thought about that and realized with some alarm that Lancer was right. If she and Hot Rod did somehow form a relationship, he would be the first likely target for the consequences. It was something she hadn't considered - she assumed that as the Decepticon in question, all of the blame would fall on her. Her fear suddenly increased to the point Lancer could "see" visible changes in her heart-rate and nervous response - above the more visible signs of clenched fists, pale skin, sweat, and hyperventilation.

"M..maybe I shouldn't approach him!" Foul Play said in distress. "I don't want to get him into trouble!"

Lancer smiled internally. She was now certain this "Decepticon" was feeling more than selfish lust.

"Now, Foul Play. He certainly needs no help from you to get into trouble. And there is certainly no one better at getting out of it! Look what he pulls off around here - even on Magnus! And yet he's miraculously still breathing! Don't underestimate him...or yourself. If he truly wants you, you will find the alliance you make to be the most potent of your life. If I told you half of the things I've seen people in love endure for each other and survive, you wouldn't have any doubts."

Foul Play didn't look convinced.

Lancer sighed. "Talk to him."

"But..."

"Talk to him!"

"But..."

Lancer suppressed a snarl of frustration. She briefly considered telling Foul Play about Marissa's trial by fire when Magnus had been possessed by Unicron in Lancer's dimension, but changed her mind. It would cause too many uncertainties in their twins here. She opted for her own story instead, explaining how she'd let the demon drive her away from Rodimus, and how the separation had nearly killed them both. She spent a lot of time dwelling on how grateful she was to her mate for letting her go, and holding the shield in spite of the pain it caused him. She went into detail of all she'd put him through after they got back together as well, and how his support, and devotion had seen her through until she'd finally healed. She even, without naming names, described Kup's open hostility, and the more subtle, but still palpable suspicion she had aroused in many of the others. She did the best she could to make it easy for Foul Play to draw parallels from her own situation. Lancer didn't mince words, or try to hide how hard it had been - far from it. She wanted Foul Play to see the worst of it, because she knew the 'Con was in for a rough ride no matter what, but also because she wanted to show that even extreme circumstances could be conquered.

She finally left Foul Play alone, brooding over everything they'd discussed at the kitchen table.

X

X

X

Lancer hadn't been out of the kitchen ten minutes when she caught Ultra Magnus heading for the bathroom. He was bleeding from his left hand and wore an expression like a mushroom cloud.

"Do I dare ask what happened?" Lancer quipped lightly, looking at the small gash on the heel of his hand.

Magnus growled a bit under his breath, and then straightened - looking at her evaluatingly.

"I have a request," he stated flatly, apparently ignoring her question.

"Yes?" Lancer asked.

"How would you feel about a few more students?"

Lancer arched an eyebrow. "How many more?"

"All of us."

"Uh...OK. May I ask why the sudden leap in enrollment?" Lancer asked, although she was fighting to suppress a smile. Rodimus was sending her visuals of recent moments.

"Lets just say I had a close encounter with one of my clumsier subordinates as he was stupidly trying to catch your mate and failing miserably."

"You and Hot Rod side-stepped each other and you stepped right in front of Springer," Lancer elaborated for him with a wicked grin, "He couldn't maneuver well enough to avoid you."

"How did you kno....oh right. Mind linked to that laughing hyena. I don't know how you stand it. Will you teach us? I'm tired of having no control over my own body," Magnus said gruffly.

"You do alright. But yeah, I'll teach you. Be warned though, I won't spare your ass or your pride."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." Magnus said.

X

X

X

The next morning, Springer, Arcee, and Magnus joined Hot Rod and Foul Play on the dew-soaked lawn. Lancer tested Arcee the way she had Hot Rod and Foul Play, but it was Rodimus who tested the larger boys.

"The dodges I would use to evade an opponent that much bigger than myself don't make for a good test," Lancer explained.

Springer certainly didn't need encouraging going after Rodi, and exhibited none of the trepidation Hot Rod had the day Lancer tested him. For all of Springer's enthusiasm, Rodimus simply brushed the hits to one side or the other, deflecting the force away from himself and annoying Springer to no end.

Worse, Rodi had time and energy to critique him as they went. "Your strength isn't a problem," Rodimus informed Springer as he evaded another punch. "You don't direct it effectively though. You over-use your sword hand and you are attacking my strong points - like my chest, instead of weak points like my joints too often. You're pulling your blows too. Are you trying to spare me or do you always hit that way?"

"This's how an Autobot fights," Springer told him. "We don't try to kill everything."

"That's how a single war can go on for millions of years," Rodimus growled. Springer struck at him and Rodi suddenly blurred forward, trapping his arm and throwing him to the ground. Springer gasped in shock as Rodi plunged a stiff-fingered blow into the earth by his ear, leaving no doubt he could have broken through Springer's skull if he had aimed for it. "Humans don't deserve to have generations of their kids grow up in the shadow of our conflicts. This fooling around is costing more lives than it saves." The assassin stood and turned to face the City Commander. "Your turn Magnus."

"I...do not fight like an Autobot," Magnus rumbled at him. He was worried.

"I know. I knew before you told us about being a gladiator, Magnus. Don't worry. We take your skills seriously, but we need to know what you can do before we can refine it."

"I just don't want to hurt anyone," Magnus said. "If I go into a flash-back I won't hold back."

"Don't hold back anyway. We need to see what you can do, not some half-assed version of it. I can take some punishment too," Rodimus reminded him, "and if things get out of hand Lancer will just drop us both."

"But," Magnus said. Lancer had put him on the ground before, but not when he was already fighting.

"I'm a mutant, remember? I'll just tweak your nervous system and down you will go," Lancer assured him cheerfully.

Magnus stared at her, "You really scare me sometimes," he informed her. She grew fangs and grinned for him.

"Come on Mags, quit flirting with my mate and hit me already. I know you've been dying for an excuse," Rodimus said.

Magnus didn't turn his head, but his arm lashed out towards Rodi's shoulder in a blurring viper strike. His hand encountered air, but when he turned he saw Rodimus had been forced to contort backwards a bit to avoid the blow. A slow, satisfied smile that was as un-Hot Roddish as anything Magnus had seen on Rodi spread across his face. The assassin was impressed...and glad to be so.

"OO!" Lancer laughed, "You're gonna have to sweat for this one, my beloved."

The next twenty minutes were unlike anything Magnus had ever experienced in his life-time. At first, Rodimus just let him do all of the striking, like they had with the others, but soon he was testing Magnus defenses by hitting back. Magnus began the session with far more trepidation than his troops, naturally enough, but was both relieved and frustrated when Rodimus blocked or dodged every strike. There was satisfaction in seeing he was making Rodi work for it. It wasn't long before they were both covered in sweat.

Gaining confidence in the ability of his opponent to stand up to him, and a bit amazed at having a sparring partner who was obviously enjoying himself instead of quaking in fear, Magnus opened up more and more of the brutal bag of tricks he had invented as a gladiator...only to find them dodged, blocked, and eventually, countered.

When Rodimus launched his first offensive attack it almost took Magnus down. It was another stiff-fingered strike at the nerves in Magnus' armpit. The grinning assassin didn't warn Magnus the rules had changed; he just struck faster than the eye could follow. Magnus couldn't put his finger on what warned him but the instincts that saw him through the games propelled his body backwards enough to avoid the nerve-deadening blow.

As it was he got a massive bruise on his pectoral muscle that would have Marissa applying ice to it later. Dimly, he heard the watchers gasp. He wondered if they now expected him to just go nuts and kill his opponent. Seeing Prime leap up and go OVER his head in a tight somersault, Magnus was glad he had never faced Rodimus in the gladiator ring. Even if he had been so inclined, he doubted he could have easily killed Rodi.

Lancer paced around the perimeter of the fight in circles with a blood-thirsty leer. The others stood around in amazement. None of them had ever seen their City Commander move quite like this before. He was notorious on the battle-field but his opponents usually fell so quickly! Rodimus didn't seem at all about to fall. Even on the three occasions Magnus landed a blow on him he flowed with it and the impact lost most of its power each time.

Lancer crowed. "Good! That hurt! Looky there my students. See how Magnus puts all of that mass behind his hits? You can see his whole body follow through the blow."

"Yeah, but he misses a lot!" Springer pointed out.

"Well, my mate has learned to dodge, and to move with a blow he can't avoid. Keeping your balance is important but it is better to fall before a blow you can't avoid than to take the force of it."

As if to illustrate, they watched Magnus launch a series of lightning fast punches at Rodi. The red-head ducked sideways, then bent backwards underneath the next blow, and then rolled under the last and up again behind Magnus. The City Commander was gasping for air, but he whirled around and kicked out in the same motion, precisely where his opponent should have been. Rodimus was already airborne and throwing a kick into Magnus' chest, toppling him. Magnus bent away from the kick and rolled, scrambling back to his feet quicker than anything that tall should manage. It was clear though that he was tiring.

Crouching, he lunged at Rodimus who side-stepped at the last instant and then got behind Magnus somehow. He grabbed Magnus' head in a grip that stunned the City Commander with its strength. He felt the blood to his head constricted briefly and knew himself to be defeated.

"You're dead," Rodimus told him. The assassin had the respect not to gloat. He held Magnus just long enough for him to feel dizziness and asphyxiation for a second, and then let him go. "Well done. No one but Lancer has ever stood that long."

"No one but you has ever stood against me, ever," Magnus gasped. He rested a minute on the ground before getting slowly to his feet.

"I wore you down. You're endurance needs work," Rodimus said.

Magnus glared at him, "You are sweating...but you aren't winded. Why?"

Rodimus looked sadly at him, "Some of our battles go on for days Ultra Magnus....and every time I morph back to Autobot form it restores me to optimum condition. You have been bed-ridden and idle for most of your time as a human. It will be a while before you can call yourself in shape again."

"Why do I have a feeling you won't let it take all that long?" Magnus said, glaring and smiling at Rodi in the same instant.

Rodimus grinned at Magnus with such a feral leer that Magnus half expected to see Lancer's fangs.

X

X

X

Thus began a new routine at Carly's house. People got up early - like it or not. They ate their breakfast quickly, with little conversation because lessons began promptly at 6 am and if your food wasn't in you too bad. Carly was glad of the tall privacy fence and thick shrubs around her property since she shuddered to think of what the neighbors would have said about a gaggle of people grunting and cussing their way through Lancer's stretching regime. Spike's video equipment got a lot more use filming such moments as Springer trying to stand on one foot, and Magnus trying to touch his forehead to his knee. Ever the helpful one, Rodimus taught the gang some Drazi curses to help them express their enjoyment. By nine AM, the students would mark their progress by seeing who was still in good enough shape to beat everyone else to the shower. Hot Rod and Foul Play usually took first and second place - being the most advanced students. The stretches and balancing exercises still left them with some muscle tone to run with. They got the hot water as a reward. Everyone else knew their place in the pack by whether or not their water was merely tepid or outright freezing.

Lancer and Rodimus didn't compete with the rest. After working the beginners over they would then test their own skills on each other. By the time they were done the other showers were long over and the water was usually hot again. If it wasn't, Lancer simply sent energy into the water heater and warmed it up. This useful trick she and Rodi kept firmly secret. They both felt the desire for a warm shower was very powerful motivation for her students to excel.

After their shower they went back to work on the teleporter. Over the next few weeks they slowly found and fused broken connections. Lancer went nearly cross-eyed sparking minuscule bolts of power into hair-thick wires to seal severed connections. They bought a magnifying glass, then a microscope. The further in they went the more breaches Lancer had to seal. The two of them took the device apart and rebuilt it so many times they hardly needed their notes any more. At night the various components swirled through their dreams. Lunch came and went around them, but they often failed to notice. Carly drew the line when they started ignoring dinner was in progress too. Still, when tested on various pieces of trash, the teleporter twisted everything they sent through it into unrecognizable blobs.

X

X

X

Spike came tearing into the kitchen, fire-extinguisher in hand, only to find Rodi calmly waving smoke out of the window Lancer was throwing open.

"It's OK Spike...there's no fire. We 'ported a soda bottle across the room and it melted." Rodimus' voice was forcefully cheerful, but he spoke through clenched teeth.

Spike shook his head and put down the extinguisher. "You guys haven't made ANY progress." It wasn't a question. The "I'm frustrated for you" tone in his voice had unexpected consequences.

Lancer was staring out of the window. She drove her fingernails into the wood and felt it splinter. Spike's words washed over her and then she just broke. The dread she and Rodi were desperately denying crushed her and she slid down the wall to the floor as if it were a physical weight she couldn't resist. Noise was beyond her. Anger she could express, but pain and despair were forever muffled by Rodi's torture chamber silence. She felt tears on her cheeks with shock, and tried to hide them by wrapping her arms around her knees and burying her face behind them. Rodimus grimaced, stricken. He crossed the room in about two steps, kneeling on the floor in front of her and gathering her up in his arms.

Spike saw the tears on her face as she clung to her mate, and was at a loss. He had seen this woman challenge Magnus and take on a full-sized flash-backing Autobot. Now she was crying over a melted pop-bottle? Instinct took over and he waved wildly at Marissa who was clucking over Magnus' training bruises in the next room. She was there in a flash. Magnus followed much more stiffly in her wake.

Marissa wasted no time reaching the huddle on the floor.

Rodi was whispering, "We'll make it. They'll be fine. We'll make it," over and over.

Lancer was silently shaking her head. Tears and all, she seemed fierce, and glared off into space.

"What's wrong?" Marissa asked fearfully. "I thought you felt you were getting somewhere."

"It's the crystal," Lancer said aloud, but to her mate, not Marissa. "It's the crystal and I can't bloody weld that Rodimus! I can not fix that and neither can you! We need a new one! We need HELP!" Her voice rose, and the tears in it warped into demonic snarls. "We are leaving our girls unprotected! They'll be enslaved! They'll be Converted! We shouldn't have left them! How can we have left them? There could be slavers gang-raping Edana right now and we are fucking around playing football! What if we DO fix it? It is not supposed to cross-dimensions...maybe it was broken to begin with! Even if we get it to work we might not get back to the right dimension! Or the right time! What if we end up there after it's two hundred years too late?" She shuddered and clenched her fists. The pain from where her talons cut through the habitual scars almost calmed her.

Rodimus pulled her in tighter and said nothing out loud or mentally. He had no words of comfort to allay her fears. They were justified.

Continued in Part D


	4. Chapter 4

Maelstrom Chapter 31  
Conversations in the Kitchen: Chapter 2 D

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Maelstrom 31  
Conversations in the Kitchen  
Chapter 2  
Getting to Know Everything About you  
Part D

Conversations in The Kitchen Chapter 2  
Part D

Continued from Part C!

Marissa's skin lost all color. His silence was not lost on her...and her brief time with Lancer told her that this warrior didn't crack without reason - let alone cry in ball on the floor. The EDC captain blurted out what hit her the hardest, "Gang-raped? Edana? What kind of war are you people waging? Rodimus! How can we help you if you won't tell us what is going on? Enough with your damned secrets already!" Suddenly furious, Marissa shoved both of them against the wall and shook them. "TELL US HOW TO HELP YOU! TELL US!"

The pair just stared at her with hollow, wary eyes. Magnus didn't think. He just moved. Grabbing each of them by the collar like he did with Hot Rod, he simply hoisted them off the floor and threw them each into a chair. He wondered as he did why neither resisted.

"Who's bleeding?!" cried Marissa. "Where is all this blood coming from? Oh my God. CARLY! We need the first aid kit in here! Lancer your hands! Is that what those scars are from? Your own damned nails? Rodimus how can you let her do this to herself? You are crazy! You really are crazy!"

Carly appeared as if by magic with her overflowing box of band-aids but Lancer pulled away.

"Lancer don't!" Rodi cried, but there was a flash around Lancer hands. She stuck her chin out and glared at her mate, even as the scent of burning blood joined that of smoldering plastic.

"You make the scars worse every time you fry them," Rodimus growled.

"You didn't!" Marissa exclaimed. "You cauterized them? Lancer what the hell is wrong with you? We have bandages! After all this time do neither of you trust us that far?" The EDC Captain made no effort to hide how insulting she found this.

"It has nothing to do with trusting you Marissa," Rodimus whispered.

"Oh really? Well, forgive me if I don't believe you...Prime," Marissa sneered.

By this point the whole gang was lurking in the doorway. They watched as Carly, pale and tight-lipped, ignored Lancer's low growl and took the mutant's hands one at a time. She then slathered the seared punctures with antibiotics and wrapped the wounds. Lancer watched her but didn't pull away.

"If we can't help you here, maybe Optimus can," Magnus suggested.

Rodimus frowned. "We've already done enough damage. I have no idea what Optimus is like as a father, but if one of my kids had an older, half-crazed assassin of an alternate show up at my door I seriously doubt I'd take it well."

"You underestimate him," Magnus said.

"If you say so," Rodimus rejoined testily.

"So what is this crystal you need anyway?" Marissa prodded impatiently.

Rodimus opened his mouth as though to answer and then shut it again. He turned away from them all to stare out the window, his back stiff and straight, his hands clasped behind him. Carly finished taping up Lancer's hands and the assassin slid over to stand by her mate. If they were conferring mentally they gave no outward sign, but they stood there like statues for several minutes.

"You won't even tell us about a piece of that damned teleporter? And here I had this stupid notion we were friends," Marissa said harshly, breaking the silence at last.

"You don't know what you are asking," Lancer said, her voice demonic. "You need to give US the benefit of the doubt too Captain Fairborne."

"I thought you wanted to get home? I thought you NEEDED to get home!" Marissa exclaimed.

Rodimus whirled and slammed his fists down on the table. "Not at the expense of the future of this whole dimension! Our's may be doomed with or without us! What we bring with us may poison your futures too! If we are going to do this we will need Optimus' help and he will demand to know why! The things you are asking came between him and me. My partner. My best friend! We nearly killed each other! If we hadn't somehow worked it out I don't know that Cybertron would still be standing, but we nearly didn't! If the things I will have to tell him warps his view of his son in any way....I fear for the Autobots here, but I'm afraid for Hot Rod too!"

He cast a furtive glance towards the doorway and met Hot Rod's eyes by accident. The younger man seemed frightened and confused, but his blue eyes held steady. It was Rodimus Prime who looked away.

Is it wrong... he sent to his mate, to hope he has a future without all the blood on his hands?

"You can NOT seriously mean to tell me that you are giving up on getting home because you are afraid that Optimus Prime can't handle what you've told us?" Magnus exclaimed stridently. "I'm going to hurt someone!"

"Magnus, not even being tortured to within an inch of my life and several inches past my breaking point was enough to drive a wedge between me and my partner," Rodi whispered. "Nevertheless, there are things going on which drove the unflappable Optimus Prime to try his very best to put his fists through my face...and I, being so sane, stood there taking it and egging him on. If he had managed to kill me what would it have done to him? What about Lancer? My kids? The fact of the matter is I did not care. I WANTED him to do it. Am I concerned your Optimus can't handle it? MY Optimus can't handle it! For that matter, I can't handle it! So, no, I am not eager to set this dimension up with the level of love and trust which nearly led one Prime to betray his people by murdering the other, nor one to betray his people by committing suicide by proxy!"

"Hello? Blaster? Hi, it's Hot Rod. Is Optimus available? No...no emergency. I have a question to ask him. Sure...I'll wait."

Every head in the room rotated towards Hot Rod's voice. He was leaning on the door-frame, a smug half-smile on his face.

"Hot Rod," Rodimus hissed, "What are you doing?"

Hot Rod met his eyes and grinned. "Waiting to talk to my dad...and you can't take the phone away from me 'cause he already knows I'm cal...Hiya Pop! No problem. Everyone's OK. Hey! I've got a weird hypothetical question for you. ...No, I didn't break anything, honest! Listen...if you ever met another version of me from another dimension... yeah... one IS enough. Really! I agree! But if you did, and he was like a REAL asshole. ...Yeah...cussing is necessary. Trust me! But if he was like this jerk who made the 'Cons look cute, do you think you would hold it against me? No? Not even if he was a complete and utter creepizoid with a bad temper and really, really stupid priorities? You sure? Positive? OK! Just checking! .... No. No reason really. We were just talking about stuff and it came up! Do you want to ask Magnus? ... He's the same. No. Running over him hasn't changed anything. Maybe you should hit him harder next time. Juuust kidding! ... I know you're busy. Say hi to Mom for me? Thanks! Bye!"

Hot Rod hung up the phone and grinned even bigger at Rodi who had glowered at him through the whole conversation. "Dad says he'd find some way to distinguish between us, seeing as how I'M his son and all, so it's OK you're an asshole."

Rodi's mouth clamped shut and his eyes bored into Hot Rod's with a mad, green flare. If the younger man was in any way disconcerted by that he gave no sign. The "Gotcha" grin on his face never wavered, and he went so far as to wink at Lancer. Magnus, who saw killer fury on Rodimus' face wondered if Hot Rod was too stupid to be afraid or simply brave.

Lancer slid up behind her mate and put a hand on his shoulder, but she was looking at Hot Rod with a funny half-smile on her lips. Her eyes had tears in them again, but they didn't fall. "The die has been cast my love. Don't tell me you're surprised by his audacity either - you dish it out, you'd better be able to take it."

Rodi neither looked at her nor softened. "Now we'll see if they can take it," he snarled. "Sit down you moron and get ready. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes - and don't say I didn't warn you."

X

X

X

The conversation lasted the rest of the day and well into the night. When the kitchen chairs grew uncomfortable they moved to the livingroom. At dinner time the huge order of pizza went largely to left-overs. No one had much of an appetite.

Rodimus stood - first at the end of the dinner table, then by the couch. Lancer perched beside him on the counter by the sink like some strange gargoyle. When they moved in a daze to the livingroom she did the same on the back of the couch. Marissa realized immediately that the mutant was guarding her mate again - but was it to protect him or to control him?

Rodimus showed little emotion throughout his recitation, especially at first. Tension pulled his features taut and robbed his mobile face of expression. He looked old, and not at all like Hot Rod. His eyes changed the most.

From the day Lancer and Rodimus arrived they had all made casual note that Rodi's eyes were greenish, while Hot Rod's were vivid Autobot blue. Hot Rod's eyes stood out from his complexion and his reddish hair so clearly that they still sometimes seemed to glow as a Transformers eyes would. Rodi's - when you could even see them under his unruly bangs - seemed to change with the light and his mood from aqua to green. Today, from the moment Hot Rod called his father till the end of his long story, Rodi's eyes burned emerald. Green. Green like acid. Green like venom...and they too seemed to glow like his mate's did. It turned his face from eerily familiar to just plain eerie.

The assassin pair laid out their lives. They covered what they knew of the origins of Cybertron and Vector Sigma. They covered Vector Sigma's manipulation of both sides of the war - drawing exclamations of outrage from all their audience. Rodimus went over Optimus' death and briefly described his first, faltering term as Prime. Optimus' revival, the partnership, and the gruesome events leading up to it were explained in slightly more detail. Lancer made sure to point out the connection between early criticism, Rodi's unrealistic expectations for anyone named Prime, and his festering death wish.

From there they described the first years of the partnership and how it had strengthened things on Cybertron. Then came the Jabez.

Rodimus cooly described how he was taken, how Goldbug (Bumblebee!) had been taken by accident too. How they were tortured, and tortured, and tortured. Details were overly abundant. Acid in their fuel lines. Complete removal of their body shells for unhindered access to their neural networks. Dissections down to their cores that were repeated over and over, with the re-buildings just as painful. Rodimus described how he fought to notice everything and fought to suppress his screams of agony in a vain effort to escape or at least spare Goldbug just a little as if he were describing a quarterly inventory. These were facts - not an emotional outcry.

He was made human - and the torture went on. Goldbug was made human, and Rodimus made detached note to his audience that this was the point his mind splintered.

Rodi's normally expressive voice went on in a dead monotone as he continued to describe precisely the things that were done to them (mostly Goldbug). He might have been reading a laboratory report. That he remembered everything in detail, down to the length of the needles in inches, was grimly apparent to his listeners. That the voice talking to them was the part of him that lived through it was plain too.

Spike listened, and wept silently. Bumblebee was still his best friend. Most of what Rodimus reported was focused on Goldbug. Parts that related to Rodi were recounted only in passing, when they were relevant somehow, or when Goldbug hadn't been in the room. Mostly Prime only retold what happened to himself to illustrate how Goldbug got it worse. For Spike to sit and listen to such horror in terms of his cheerful, loyal friend was all he could stand. Rodimus' merciless voice droned on about Goldbug's decent from trying to reason with the Jabez, to pleading, to incoherent roars, to catatonia. Spike's tears were as much from un-ventable fury as from grief. Telling himself his Bumblebee was fine did no good whatsoever. Looking around the room told Spike the others were experiencing similar rage and sorrow. Carly clutched his hand. Her fingers were icy.

Rodimus went on with his cold report. He informed them of the crystals the Jabez used in everything. Crystals like the Matrix. He told them Astrotrain had been there too, although Rodi never realized it at the time.

Then came his introduction to Conversion and the slave trade. The first time he'd seen young humans have their brains cored out and replaced with microchips was relayed in the same impeccable detail as the rest. Lancer helped him give an overview on the uses of humans as a whole and mutants in particular for the Jabez and their Sponsors. They also explained that the Jabez were responsible for interfering in human evolution and were suspected of seeding the human race on Earth in the first place.

"We humans and Transformers - we are similar because we share the same blueprint."

"I was made human to further Jabez designs on Earth," Rodimus said. "We know from the files recovered by Lancer's friends that the Jabez had many plans for me. Astrotrain was their test run - their guinea pig. Everything they did to us, they did to him first to see if he would survive. I was the prize catch. They were careful with me. As both a human and an Autobot I've been modified. I'm faster, more fuel efficient, I heal very quickly. They modified my pheromone production and my fertility as a human. I was meant to go back as a Convert, lead my Autobots in ways the Jabez could exploit, and provide them with human offspring with a high probability of mutancy."

"Pheromones?" Marissa asked.

Lancer answered. "He can seduce anything on two legs if he tries, Marissa, and if the tests are accurate, he's got about a 98% chance of getting them pregnant if they are healthy. The pheromones cause spontaneous ovulation no matter where you are in your cycle. If you can get pregnant, you will."

"But you...only have two kids," Marissa pointed out, wondering if she was being too personal.

"It's me. I was told I couldn't get pregnant - otherwise we'd have a hundred kids by now. My body is always channeling energy - it takes more than ordinary sperm to run that gauntlet. Rodimus is probably the only man even capable of getting me pregnant...and it took a long time."

"But...I still can't believe a zombie...a...a..Convert? I can't believe something like that can be seductive no matter how they smell!"

"You have no idea how sophisticated those chips can be," Lancer said. "A Convert can keep up all its old personality. High end Conversions can go home to their loved ones and live for years undetected. They even adapt. It doesn't change the fact that they are dead and completely under their programer's control. Astrotrain fathered 76 offspring that we know of in the time he was loose...that we know of. There are many suspicious disappearances of women and even a few men he encountered. We suspect he Converted them and shipped them off. He operated for just under two years. Of the kids we know of, 83% are mutants class 3 and above. The odds of that being chance are impossibly high. ....We are doing what we can to guard them all, but we've lost three to slave runners already. They are all under ten years old."

Rodimus took the long, shocked pause to mean he could continue. He voice still never wavered.

"Goldbug was an extra, brought in by mistake. They used him to see how far they could push things, because he was expendable. What they did to me, they did to him more with no concerns for his survival. They tested my ability to heal by breaking my fingers. They tested his by pulling him apart by the arms and legs with a winch. They tore him nearly in two."

Lancer took over again to describe her team-mates and the Maelstrom. She described finding Rodimus and rescuing him, only to be lost and marooned due to a malfunctioning teleporter. Rodi's reluctant recovery and the formation of their link didn't take long to describe, nor did their disastrous attempts to keep their relationship a secret once they got home. Rodimus annotated his plans for a covert war and Optimus' foreknowledge of it through the Matrix. He made impassive note of his return to robot form. Lancer covered her inelegant departure from Cybertron.

Marissa protested. "Why Lancer? Why would you leave him? How could you leave him? He had so much on his plate and...and...you two.... You two were meant to be together!"

Lancer snorted. "What else could I have done? First of all I had to be sure the bastards that had him were dead! If he had any hope of running his gambit against the Jabez and the slavers it was secrecy! It still is secrecy! I am a known Jabez adversary with a bounty on my head. If the Jabez suspect the Maelstrom is working with the Autobots it is over for Cybertron. They will wipe the planet clean. You are all so amazed that I'm a mutant but in our world I am one of many. The Jabez breed us like cattle in fucking factories! They take women with genetics they like and inseminate them over and over. The lucky ones are Converted first. The Sponsors maintain standing ARMIES of Converted mutant with abilities far past mine.  
Besides, I had no way of knowing at that point that our link was unbreakable, or that he could go back and forth to being human. What would I do there? Hide out in his quarters until he's off duty? Pretend to be just friends? We aren't just friends...and it only took Optimus about five minutes to see through us. Rodi is who he is and I wouldn't change that, but I am not strong enough to hang around loving a man I can't help and I can't touch. It's hard enough now, when my mind is with him always, but my body is usually in the next parsect. Do you think I felt that was best for him either? What will you do when Magnus goes home? Kiss his ankles?"

Marissa winced. "I'm trying to make the most of the time we have," she whispered huskily.

Lancer nodded. "That's exactly what I did, and when it was over I let him go...or at least I tried. We blocked each other out and I took off. Everything I have ever heard about telepathic connections says time and distance will sever them, but we are apparently a special case."

Rodimus, who stood like stone during this exchange gave no sign it applied to him. He went on to describe his early evaluations of the situation on Cybertron. Complacency where humans were concerned was rampant in their security and slave runners by the hundreds were taking advantage. He also explained that Magnus and Marissa were running their own covert investigation into a slaving operation on their own - although they didn't realize that was what they had on their hands. He told them how these separate investigations and Magnus' increasing paranoia led Magnus to stumble onto one of Rodi's first assassination missions.

With no emotion whatsoever, Rodimus explained how he had planted a micro-explosive on the fuel tank of a slaving vessel and killed all the humans on board - including the Converted cargo. He described his City Commander's response to that, as well as his own careful consideration of assassinating Magnus. Not long after that, there was a similar consideration of Marissa's fate.

The Ultra Magnus of this dimension stared at the Prime confronting him. He considered Rodimus a friend...a rare sort of friend who was not only his equal in combat, but in suffering. A confidant - something Magnus had damned few of. If Rodimus was waiting for some kind of outburst over a debate about killing Magnus' twin, Rodi didn't get one. For a long moment they sized each other up - the gladiator City Commander and the Assassin Prime. Neither blinked. Neither blanched.

Rodimus went on with his soliloquy. The first nucleus of the council,, the subjugation of Vector Sigma, the revival of Elita One, the Quint genocide, and the arguments leading up to the Quint genocide.

"How?" Magnus wanted to know. "How did you get rid of them all?"

"I took Magnus, Marissa, and Jazz on a fast ship. We'd find one Quint cruiser, kill the Sharks, torture the Quints for information, and kill all but one. I'd pretend to botch the kill on that Quint and hit it with a slow-acting poison. We'd put a homing device on board and withdraw out of sensor range. Then we'd see where it ran for help...and start over."

"That's it? Just the four of you?" Magnus exclaimed. Surely it wasn't so easy.

Lancer answered.

"Magnus, it was mostly just him. Optimus insisted on the others. The Sharkticons are no match for what his three teachers taught him. The Jabez, being human, and me."

"Wha...what do you mean by that? I understand you taught him to be an assassin but..."

"Do you take more care now that you are human and your limbs can't just be replaced?" Lancer asked very quietly.

"Yes...we all know it's easier to get hurt right now but..."

"When you are a robot again you will discover several things. One, you will instinctively guard yourself better because you spent time as a squishy, but you will also notice injuries you do get don't hurt as much as you remember. Your sensor levels won't seem nearly as acute." She saw the Autobots exchange glances around the room and went on.

"Rodimus didn't just spend a year as a human. He was tortured as a human. He is required by First Aid to check in after every engagement, no matter how small, because he's let injuries bleed his energon nearly dry. He doesn't feel pain as a Transformer anymore. The Sharks could hardly lay a claw on him, but even if they did he didn't feel it. It wasn't...it wasn't much of a contest."

"We had to get rid of them," Rodimus said. "They were the only ones capable of linking me to the Jabez lab the Maelstrom destroyed after they rescued us."

"Us?" Hot Rod cried, interrupting for the first time. "Is Bumb...I mean Goldbug still alive? Is he home?"

"He lives on the Maelstrom. He will not come home. He will not try being an Autobot again. He will not smile, or speak more than he has to. He calls himself Shellshock...and he kills Slavers." Rodimus' voice was too flat to be cold, but Hot Rod shivered anyway.

No one else interrupted so Rodimus continued. "Through this time, my council was starting to harass me about my health. I was having... episodes. My energy levels would drop off suddenly. I would grey down as if in death for minutes at a time. I have no memory of this. I was convinced they were lying to me, but it was the effort of separating from Lancer that was draining me. She was having similar spells, but she was alone and had no one to tell her what was happening.

Lancer took over again and described the wall between their minds, and her conviction that if she could just get far enough, and hold the wall long enough, that their link would die. She admitted that she was also prepared to die taking on the Jabez who tortured her mate, but they were already vaporized by the Maelstrom....and she was pregnant.

She briefly described going into hiding and giving birth to Edana alone.

Rodimus resumed with the conspiracy his council ran against him when the Maelstrom made contact. He retold of their search for Lancer as if she were a stranger, not his mate. He recounted his first, shocked sight of her and the baby on the screen of an Autobot shuttle, the rage he had felt which sent her powers into overload, and how the blast had called the bounty hunters. In the same dead voice he told his audience how the slavers would spear and drug his mate, how her desperate battle nearly killed her, and how their desperate battle to keep her alive had nearly killed him. He told of his return to human form to be with his Lancer in the same droning voice he'd used for the torture chamber.

It wasn't until he began describing his first time holding Edana as a human man that his voice finally broke into something more normal. He blinked, shuddered, and smiled just a bit as he told them about it. Lancer, who still perched on the couch next to where he stood, sighed and slipped off the back and onto the seat. For a moment she rested her forehead on his hip and he reached down to smooth down the tendrils of hair that escaped from her braid.

Rodimus sighed too, and went on with the Autobots working partnership with the Maelstrom, the discovery of Astrotrain the Convert, Marissa and Magnus' engagement, and Kup's response to that.

"He blamed me for everything he sensed in Rodimus," Lancer said softly. "And his hatred spilled over onto Edana. My friend Claudia is an empath and she has no doubt that if the baby and I had been alone with Kup he would have tried to kill us."

"That makes no sense!" Hot Rod exclaimed.

Rodimus shrugged. "Now you start to see what I was worried about. "Our universe has a shortage of sense if Kup thought he could somehow regain our old friendship by murdering my mate and my kid!"

"But it doesn't sound like Kup at all!" Hot Rod protested. "Even if he was mad at you and Lancer he wouldn't be mad at a little baby! He...he just wouldn't!"

Rodimus arched an eyebrow at his twin, "Don't be naive, Hot Rod. You wanted to hear this...be grown up enough to accept what this stuff does to people."

"I agree with Hot Rod," Magnus said firmly. "What you've described is horrible, but every person you have mentioned is familiar. Kup is the first one you've said anything about whose character doesn't seem to match! Maybe he IS different in your universe, but in ours he loves Hot Rod, loves youngsters, and is more adaptable than you describe! He's one of our oldest veterans and he didn't get that way by being inflexible."

Arcee and Springer nodded in agreement, and even Foul Play mentioned that her people described Kup as cagey and quick on his feet.

Rodimus could only frown and shrug. "I can't understand why everyone else would match so well but not Kup. When I was young... when I was Hot Rod... if you had asked me to name an Autobot who was most like a father to me, I would have named Kup. Optimus was the Prime on high - I was just a newly activate punk Autobot. He barely noticed me. Kup was my mentor and my friend. I really miss that friendship, but I rarely speak to him now, and when I do it is just as Prime. Maybe, maybe if we hadn't been quite so close it would have been different."

The Autobots continued to protest, as did Spike, but Rodimus wasn't done yet, and he wasn't interested in exploring his fall-out with Kup.

He outlined his plans for minding the Decepticons on Char almost apologetically. "We've taken over all of their sensory devices and rigged their base with our own. We supply them with targets to raid for energon and do our best to protect them. Unfortunately the best I can say right now is that if the Jabez come for us en-masse then the explosives we have rigged to blow Char to space dust is a kinder death than they would get from a Slaver.

Foul Play paled and blinked with shock. "You are protecting them?!"

Rodimus shook his head and looked guilty. "I'm using them. I'm using them exactly like Vector Sigma did. They are my excuse for everything from my security upgrades to all of our new activations receiving Elita's training. Elita's training being Lancer's training of course. Lancer trained her, she trained her personal troops, and now they are giving the Autobots remedial help. My army is becoming an army of assassins and they don't even know it. They sure as hell don't like it either, but I don't give a shit about their grumbling. It's the best I can do for the 'Cons right now Foul Play! They are sitting targets."

"But...you did the best you could for them...even after all the wars,"  
Foul Play stated. The situation was ugly for her people, but even she knew he couldn't just invite them into his council.

Rodi's eyes flared green again. "The wars are not their fault. I blame the Jabez, I blame the Quints, but mostly I blame Vector Sigma for that! It could have warned us! United us! Instead it used us by keeping Cybertron in such chaos that we weren't worth bothering with. It could have steered us towards the slavers when they first came in without even revealing itself! Instead it figured the Jabez were less likely to investigate Cybertron if things were easy there. I'm sure it helped foster the horrible blind spots in our security and our thinking! Now Cybertron is infested with entrenched slaving operations and instead of being able to just go in there to step on the snot-fuckers like I want to we have to be careful and sneaky about it. I have to devise clever ruses, make their deaths look like accidents, or rival slave-gangs. It takes time to set up, and while I plan more little kids get raped and have their brains cored out. Then I have to deal with what's left over, and most of the time it means that I have to kill the merchandise. I'm no better than the damned slavers. Sometimes I think I'd like to go back to being insane - there's a certain clarity involved with that. I really wish my people could breed like yours do! I want to smash Vector Sigma to bits and free us from it for once and for all!"

Foul Play shook her head. In her mind, at least he was trying.

Marissa opened her mouth to say something but he was already moving on. He explained how they were trying to bring some form of freedom to the next generation of Transformers by forcing Vector Sigma to program them randomly, leading to some real wild cards and even desertions to the Decepticon ranks.

Finally he confessed how Arcee and Springer had fallen into the council, but not before Rodimus had again been forced to consider assassinating two of his people. This time though, Optimus knew about it. Rodimus again pulled no punches in his description of the fight between himself and his partner. He didn't gloss over his own frame of mind - heart-sick of all the killing and looking, perhaps, for a way out.

There was no doubt that Rodimus baited Optimus by insulting and egging him on. Still, Magnus felt Optimus' reaction was extreme. Not that he couldn't see Optimus laying into Rodi. The Optimus of this dimension and he had been in a brief but serious brawl themselves. Magnus was a gladiator. He took no pleasure in fighting, but when he had to he made no apologies for his tactics on the battlefield. Optimus had a more idealistic style of fighting and leading which Magnus found restrictive and occasionally stupid. They argued bitterly about it numerous times before it degraded into violence.

They hadn't exchanged more than a few blows when they both realized how detrimental and foolish it was. Since that time they continued to disagree and to argue, but they were careful not to let it go too far.

Apparently, Rodi's suggestion of eliminating Springer and Arcee's twins in his dimension was much, much too far for that Optimus Prime to cope with. Rodimus explained that he had somehow managed to keep his partner in the dark about a lot of things he had to do. Upon finding out, Optimus reacted even worse than Rodi had feared. The listeners were forcibly reminded of Lancer's assertion that Rodi didn't feel much pain in robot form. How else could he just stand there letting Optimus rain blow after blow on his face without flinching or defending himself?

Rodi admitted if Op had killed him that he wouldn't mind. It hadn't been until Lancer had intervened by reminding him that she and Edana would most certainly mind that he stopped needling his partner into more violence.

The aftermath was almost as ugly as the actual fight according to Lancer. She did applaud her Marissa's meeting agenda looking to replace BOTH Prime's with pocket calculators. In their universe Magnus had explained quite seriously to Optimus that at least calculators were good for something.

The Magnus in Carly's livingroom snorted. He counted that a score.

"What did you say to that?" Magnus asked.

"Nothing," Rodi said. "Not a damned thing. I was so far gone I hardly heard it. Not fair is it? That was a good dis."

He explained himself as best he could without ever trying to shift the blame away. "I hated him. Absolutely hated him for not being able to handle it. I was the one up to my knees in human blood every damned night. If two Autobots had to go down to stop that some day I would do it. I would HAVE to do it...and I have to be able to not just consider it, but go through with it."

"You have, haven't you?" Marissa asked. "You have had to kill some of your own."

"We have lost two Autobots to Conversion...and yes. I was the one to deal with that. Optimus...my Optimus...he still doesn't know."

"You didn't tell us that," Hot Rod hissed.

"Kid...if you think I'm going to tell you every last fucking detail you are even dumber than I was at your age. Of course I'm not telling you everything. I won't tell you their names either, so do not ask."

"Who were they?" Hot Rod demanded.

Rodimus ignored that. "I want you to see how bad it got between him and me. I want you to know I considered bringing some of the dead little kids I was dealing with to put on his desk. I thought about forcing him to watch me go over their bodies to see what was done to them before and after they were Converted. Lancer talked me out of it. We patched it up finally, but it feels....patched. So much rests on our ability to trust each other and work as a team, and we nearly blew it. Hot Rod! I don't pretend to know your future, or your relationship with your father, but the scars from this fight are still there in him and in me. If we crack... do we take Cybertron and Earth down with us? I need you to step up for a minute here. I need you to GROW up for a minute here!  
Don't you see what this dimension represents to us? It's a chance for the people that we love to have a healthy future that may be impossible in our universe no matter what we do! I really want you to think that over. Is your father gonna roll with this, or is he going to look at you and wonder deep down if you are capable of becoming a monster like me?"

"Rodimus," Marissa said, "You are not a monster."

Rodimus didn't answer her. He just stared at Hot Rod.

"What did you do with Springer and Arcee?" Hot Rod asked.

"A fate worse than death...we brought them into the council and saddled them with all of our bureaucratic bullshit and paperwork."

Springer snorted.

Rodimus turned those unnerving green eyes on the triple changer. "You think I'm joking? You know the whole reason they got on to us was because we lost track of our friendship with them. I thought I was doing a decent job with keeping up morale and pretenses and all. Yeah right. They moved in together. They went ahead and got "unofficially" mated and no one on the damned council knew a thing about it for weeks. My present to them was to suck them into this nightmare and dump all the paperwork none of us big shots had time for on them. They run Metroplex as a team, go home, and fill out all the damned forms Op, Magnus, and I can't find time to deal with. I even made them the official liaisons to the Paradronian Cultural Commission. No action. No down-time. Just non-stop crap. Their reward for living together is to see each other less than when they were just dating."

"Is it helping?" Arcee demanded.

"Huh?" Rodimus said, sounding tired.

"Is it helping make up for that horrible complacency? Is it helping you close down the slaving rings?" she asked harshly.

"Well, it is a little..." Rodimus admitted.

"Then it's worth it!" Arcee jumped up suddenly, put her nose less than an inch from Rodi's face and poked him repeatedly in the chest. "Do you seriously think for a second it isn't worth it Rodimus Prime? Paperwork? If paperwork means less of those...those evil monsters get away with using MY home planet as an auction-house for little babies like Daniel sign me up! And I will speak for my twin too...if my death means less kids die I volunteer! You hear me? Stop them! Stop them! Do whatever you have to do!"

"In case you were wondering, Rodimus Prime Sir, I'm with Arcee on that one," Springer said, standing up to back her up.

She took his hand, but turned fierce blue eyes on Magnus. "You're going to check on this aren't you? You are going to make SURE it isn't happening here."

"Of course I am," Magnus vowed. "You didn't need to ask."

"Are you done?" Arcee asked Rodimus, "Or is there more to this horror flick?"

"Pretty much," Rodimus said. "Things are status quo right now. We snip away at their web a strand at a time and hope they won't notice it's us. We were making progress when we left, and the only reason we left was because Elita walked in behind me and I nearly blew her head off before I realized who she was. This was an enforced vacation."

Continued in Part E


	5. Chapter 5

Maelstrom Chapter 31

Conversations in the Kitchen Part E

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Conversations in The Kitchen Chapter 2

Getting to know everything about you  
Part E

Continued from Part D!

They had many questions for him of course. Hot Rod was quiet through most of it. Finally he chimed in. "I've thought about what you said. I...I think my dad can handle it...really I do. He's already had to deal with Magnus...I heard him arguing with mom about it a few times. He didn't like what Magnus said to him, but later he admitted to her that he probably needed to hear a lot of it." Hot Rod turned to his uncle, "If he knows I told you this..."

Magnus just smirked.

"Fine. Whatever," Hot Rod said. "This is what I want to know Rodimus. How do you deal with this...anger? How do you not explode? I want to explode! I want to go back with you so I can help you stop them! The Decepticons never made me this angry! I'm not sure angry is even the word."

"I believe I've made it plain I don't deal with it very well. I've tried hard to harness it and use that energy to keep me going. It doesn't always work though. Sometimes I take it out on my friends like I did on Optimus. Sometimes I kill people with it."

"You try though, you try to make it into something that will help?" Hot Rod asked again.

"I try."

"Then we will too. I don't care what my father says about me in the future. I really don't think he'll have a problem, but even if he does... even if he refuses to help you for some reason, I will find a way to make him. You have to get even for Goldbug. You have to watch out for your kids. You have to get home...that's the only way I'm going to be able to turn MY anger into something useful."

Magnus smiled. "I don't think your father is going to have a problem Hot Rod. I think he's going to be proud of you."

X

X

X

Proud wasn't exactly the first word that sprang to mind when Optimus got an enigmatic call from Magnus arranging a meeting between Prime and his son. Feeling unsettled for no reason he could name, Optimus added Kup and Elita for back-up. The strange phone call he'd received from Hot Rod two days earlier kept coming back to him.

When Hot Rod came in with Magnus and Spike as back-up Optimus got even more worried.

"OK Spike...what's he done?" Optimus asked, getting to what surely was the point of this strange assembly.

"Hey! Why do you assume it's me?" Hot Rod asked indignantly. "Hi mom!" He waved cheerfully up at Elita.

"It is you," Magnus said. "Sort of."

"Magnus what is going on?"

Hot Rod interjected. "If it's me I get to tell him. Remember when I called you the other day...about ...well...another me from an alternate dimension?"

"Painfully."

"Well, let's just say my hypothetical question wasn't really hypothetical."

"You've developed a split personality?" Optimus said, almost hopefully. He saw Magnus shake his head and make for the door.

"No...we really did meet another me! From another dimension!" Hot Rod laughed.

"Ah... Magnus! I don't know how he put you up to this but I don't have time for pranks and...and...who are these people?" Magnus was ushering in three more humans. Marissa, one decidedly female stranger, and another man with a Marlins baseball cap pulled down nearly to his nose.

"You are going to stretch my cap out," Spike complained.

"I was afraid someone would recognize me!" the man said defensively.

"Not likely in human form Rodi," Magnus said.

"So I'm paranoid. Sue me," the man said sharply. He took a furtive glance at Op and Elita, and backed up a step when he saw Kup.

Marissa pushed him forward. "Show them," she ordered.

"And give me my cap before you rip it!" Spike said.

The man handed the cap over with some reluctance, sighed, and stared up at Optimus. "Deja vu," he muttered.

Optimus looked from Hot Rod to the man with some surprise. The resemblance was quite uncanny, but there was no way Prime was falling for a simple resemblance.

"That's pretty good guys," he chuckled, "Now, where did you find such a good match?"

The strange woman beside Marissa gave a feral grin. "Better get it over with my love," she laughed.

The man sighed, made an inscrutable face up at Optimus....and morphed.

"Um...hi. I'm the asshole with the really screwed up priorities," said the Autobot.

Optimus, Kup, and Elita stared.

Rodimus put a hand to his face and then glared at Hot Rod. Turning back to the three motionless Transformers, he said. "My name...um..my name is Rodimus Prime." He drew back a little, waiting for some response. When one finally came, it was nothing he remotely expected.

Elita held her hand out to Optimus without ever taking her optics off of Rodi. "I win. Pay up," she said.

Optimus, without ever taking his optics off of Rodi either, reached into his desk for three energon chits to settle his standard bet with his mate.

"Here," he said, passing them to her.

Hot Rod laughed.

Elita grinned at the sound and kept grinning as she approached Rodimus and inspected him from head to feet. She noted that she had to look up slightly to look him in the optics.

"OO...you're so TALL!" she said, delighted.

Rodimus smacked himself in the face and the woman laughed.

"Lancer! It is NOT funny!" Rodimus said.

"You are right my love," Lancer rejoined, "It's hysterical!"

All of the humans laughed then, although there was as much nervous energy and relief in the sound as mirth.

Kup came around the desk to size Rodimus up too, although he had different concerns. "How do we know this isn't some kind of 'Con or Quint trap?"

Rodimus normally would have felt such a question was only too prudent, but since it was Kup asking he responded defensively.

"You know I'm not here to hurt you because you are still in one piece," he growled.

Kup launched into a few colorful curses and ended with "You might find making us into pieces harder than you think Sonny!"

Magnus intervened, "No he wouldn't. Kup! No he wouldn't. You need to listen to him. You need to hear his story. Optimus, he's been with us for almost two months now. I trust him. He needs our help! And Rodimus, just because the Kup in your dimension betrayed you doesn't mean ours will! He's our security chief and it's his job to ask questions! Quit being so damned defensive and do what you came here to do!"

Rodimus frowned at Magnus. Then at Kup, who was standing with his arms crossed just inches away from him. He fought with himself a moment and reminded himself in a sort of mantra not to make assumptions. Not to look at that face and want to smack it...not to blame it...blame it for Edana screaming. Then again, if he ever wanted to see his daughter again he'd better get on with things, hadn't he?

He sighed. "Sorry Kup. I'm guilty of what I keep telling these guys not to do...what I'm telling you not to do. Don't assume anything because I look like him. Our dimensions are VERY different."

Hot Rod looked WAY up at his twin and grinned. "That's right. I'm much cooler." He got out a pocket video game. "You'd better get started. I don't want to sit through your life story again, but if I have to you'd better make it fast!"

"Ingrate," Rodimus said.

"Asshole," Hot Rod replied. "Told you Pop! You'd better sit down Mom. He talks a lot."

X

X

X

Rodimus did talk a lot, but it went quicker this time because all three of the Autobots he was talking to sat quietly and just listened. All of their questions came at the end, and again they took Rodimus by surprise.

"What can we do to help you?" was Optimus' first, quiet inquiry.

"I...we need help with our teleporter. The crystal...the one that holds the coordinates and the coding...it's the same kind of crystal as the Matrix. It is cracked. If we can't repair it we will have to replace it and hope we can transfer the information out of the damage stone. If not, I guess we'll have to look for jobs around here."

"I don't know anything about that," Optimus confessed, "but I'll get Ratchet, Perceptor, and Wheeljack right on it. What else?"

"Well...if we can find out...if we can find out whether or not my people can reproduce the way yours do that would be a huge help. If I can free my people from that damned floating disco ball forever...even if the Jabez take over Cybertron there's still hope." Rodimus paused. "Also, maybe your guys can figure more about how I morph from human to robot. It might help your ingrate son and his cranky uncle get off of Carly's couch."

"Hallelujah!" Spike cried. He was sitting on the floor next to Hot Rod, watching him play.

"Do you have a picture of your girls with you Rodimus?" Elita asked.

"Um...yes... but," Rodimus began, flustered again.

"Can I see them?" she asked.

Rodimus felt strangely reluctant with Kup in the room, but so far he hadn't said anything about Rodi's choice in mates. Besides, Rodi reasoned with himself, the girls were in another dimension, far from Kup's venom.

Lancer startled the Autobots by jumping up to catch the side of Prime's desk and flip herself onto it. She got out a few pictures and placed them on the scanner Autobots used to read human documents. The faces of her children appeared bigger than life on Op's screen.

"OO...they're so pretty!" Elita cried.

"Amazing," said Kup. "I never realized a human could look so much like an Autobot. Except these are cute."

"Hey!" said Hot Rod, without looking up from his game, "What's that supposed to mean!"

"It means you are too much trouble to be cute, that's what it means," Kup retorted cheerfully.

Rodimus was glad he was in robot form. If he'd been human he might have fainted from shock. As it was he felt his non-existent blood-pressure falling. For the first time in almost eight hours of non-stop confessions, he felt the need to sit. He didn't. He remembered when Kup treated him like that...relaxed...friendly.

As Kup and Elita continued to compare notes between Rodi's kids and Hot Rod's face, Rodimus felt the old, familiar rage build up.

His hands gripped the back of the chair they'd given him to sit in. He hadn't touched it before, but now he leaned on its back for support and clutched it with his fingers. If his eyes had seemed to glow green as a human they positively radiated as an Autobot. The solid metal of the chair began whining, then collapsed under his hands.

Everyone turned to face the noise.

"That's not good," Hot Rod stated.

"Rodi?!" Marissa cried. "What's wrong?" She might have asked Lancer but the mutant was growling.

For an answer Rodimus strung together a line of curses that would have done any version of Kup proud, ending with "I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY FILLET THAT LYINGPIECEOFFUCKING SHIT!"

"What? Vector Sigma? Rodimus what can have you more angry at it then you are already?" Marissa very reasonably wanted to know.

"KUP! It used Kup to get to me! All that hatred! All that obsession! I knew it set up our personalities to suit itself, but I didn't realize it could plant ideas after the fact!"

"Rodi," Lancer whispered in her hoarse, demonic voice. "You can't be sure of that."

"I'm sure... Think about it. Even his speech patterns changed! It wasn't Kup! And Kup doesn't even know it wasn't Kup! I'm so stupid! Lancer! What I said to him! I let Fucking Shit use him! I let it come between us! I left it an opening...AGAIN! This time I really am going to kill it....even if we can't reproduce without it we can't afford this virus in our midst!"

Lancer bit her lip. "We'll think of something less drastic. Calm down, love. You aren't going to make your species go extinct out of guilt...and Rodi...we'll make it up to Kup."

The resident Autobots looked uncomfortable at this exchange. Kup spoke up first.

"Listen to that woman of yours...she has a good head on her shoulders."

Rodimus stared deep into Kup's optics. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that Old Timer."

X

X

X

The decision to help the strangers never really got discussed. It just happened.

Ratchet, Wheeljack, and Perceptor got their briefing via video, since Kup had the foresight to record the meeting. They were all fascinated and eager to get going, not to mention driven by an deep anger similar to Hot Rod's.

Rodimus was amazed. None of them rejected him in any way in spite of his mate, his past, or his tactics.

Ratchet had at him first. He listened gravely to Rodi's warning about flashbacks and made Rodimus promise to let him know if anything they were doing was troubling him. Rodimus promised, expecting to have to keep that promise often. Soon though, he found he was mostly fine. Ratchet never seemed to lose sight of him during all the testing. He always stopped to explain what they were doing, why they were doing it, and what was to happen next. It helped immensely.

Rodimus shook his head and grieved. He hadn't been good friends with Ratchet - Rodi had been too young, too silly, and Ratchet was always busy. But Rodi had liked him, everyone had liked him. And this was why. First Aid was nothing but compassionate, but he was a medic by training, not a doctor. His training was in emergency, combat field work. Patch 'em up fast - don't talk to them stuff. He was also often overwhelmed because Rodi was using him as a full-fledged doctor. He was rising admirably to the challenge, but the medical end of things took his entire concentration most of the time. In other words, his bedside manner needed work. Lots of it.

Ratchet, on the other hand, spent most of his concentration on his patient. The procedures were so automatic to him he could afford to.

X

X

X

They started with a basic physical. Rodimus wasn't expecting much there. He was wrong. Ratchet gave him a basic body scan and called immediately for Wheeljack and Perceptor.

Rodi sighed. With everyone from Lancer, to Magnus, to his twin's worried parents, the Med-Bay was getting quite crowded.

"Look at this Wheeljack! All his fuel lines have been reconfigured. He's using almost 40% less energon than I expected. He's using less than Hot Rod does!"

"I am?" Rodimus asked.

"Of course you are, didn't my twin tell you that?" Ratchet queried.

Rodimus was too busy kicking himself to answer right away. What he came up with after that was an eloquent "er...well..."

Ratchet looked at him gravely. "Who is taking care of your medical needs then?"

"First Aid," Rodimus said softly. "He's doing alright."

"On the job training can be very effective," Ratchet said, "But what you are telling me is you haven't been seen by a fully trained Autobot specialist since you were tortured. Did First Aid at least have your baseline stats to compare to?"

"Um...no. Those kind of went up with a bang," Rodimus confessed.

"I see," said Ratchet. "Well, this will take longer than I expected."

X

X

X

By the end of the day, Rodimus was in awe and trying really hard to figure out where to get First Aid Ratchet's education. They discovered his neural network had been tweaked even more than he suspected, making his reflexes about 12% faster than the norm. The cables and hydraulics which moved his joints had also been tweaked to allow much further range of motion without sacrificing power or speed. That part really surprised Rodi. After spending a year marooned with Lancer learning to pull his leg up behind his ear, he hadn't noticed his robot body had been modified. He figured he was just better trained. The medical team was really excited about the modifications to his repair systems - seeing in them a potential to lighten their own work load if they could reproduce the same results in others.

They were also able to tell him that he should be able to reproduce quite easily as an Autobot if he were ever so inclined.

He lay back on the table. Good news was so alien to him he wasn't sure what he wanted to do about it. Many options presented themselves but he settled on using his 12% faster reflexes to startle Ratchet with a crushing hug. Then he somersaulted backwards off the table, landed on his hands, flipped over into two flamboyant hand-springs, morphed human half-way through the last, and landed in front of his giggling mate. She was sitting next to Magnus and Marissa who had been looking rather bored up until the point Rodimus silently sprang across the room, picked Lancer up by the armpits and flattened her against the wall.

"Get a room," Marissa suggested when they didn't come up for air. Both Lancer and Rodimus politely flipped her the bird and kept right on kissing.

"How did you do those hand-springs so quietly?" Magnus asked.

"I think that's enough for one day," said Ratchet.

X

X

X

The ride home in Spike's mini-van was quite different from the subdued and nervous trip to Autobot headquarters.

"So you're not shooting blanks as a robot after all?" Hot Rod asked rudely from the front seat. Magnus and Marissa took up the whole middle row, and Lancer and Rodi were looking quite cozy in the rear.

"Nice," Rodimus answered. "No, I'm not. Where did you take off to anyway? If you'd been there you wouldn't be asking."

"Out to the roof. I hate Med-Lab. Besides do you really think I wanted to watch them poke at you? Boring....and creepy too. Besides, Mom's still mooning over your kids and it's kinda freaking me out."

"Heh. Not ready to think about being a Daddy yet, Hot Rod?" Spike snickered.

"No, but at least I know how to when I'm ready! How can your people not know this stuff Rodimus? Even a kid like me knows that!"

"I'm going with Vector Sigma again," Rodimus said grimly. "There are rumors, urban legends almost, of Autobot females getting pregnant. They always end with the tragic death of the female in question. If Vector Sigma really can break into our minds, I bet that any accidental pregnancy ended with a murder or a suicide. That is also probably the reason we have about one female for every 200 males among the Autobots. The fewer girls we have, the less chance we have of finding out on our own."

Magnus sighed. "I really am starting to hate your Vector Sigma, Rodimus. Even the 'Cons never stooped so low."

Rodi grinned like a shark. "If I can get this information home to my people, things will never be the same, I promise you. I plan to severely bite the hand that feeds me when we get back. Lancer snickered and grinned the same evil, vicious looking grin. Rodimus smiled and kissed her aggressively.

"You are sexy when you think violent thoughts, Lady Assassin," he purred at her.

"Hey you two! Not while I'm driving! You guys are getting distracting."

"You are a bit out of control," Marissa said, hoping they would calm down. She was feeling...unsettled.

"Look who's talking, Miss Wandering Toes!" Rodimus said. "You work Magnus up into a state right at the dining room table."

"That's different," she protested, "We aren't driving then."

"No," said Lancer, "But you are driving soon after!"

Marissa flushed up to her ears and stayed that way.

Spike and Hot Rod exchanged glances. Marissa seemed to take an "If you can't beat them, join them" attitude and began kissing Magnus with unbridled fervor.

Spike vowed stubbornly not to be affected, and Hot Rod went back to his video game, trying not to wonder about the muffled noises his uncle was making, or why he let Marissa do that to his face. It looked kind of ...painful.

On the other hand, his twin was doing the same thing more quietly in the back. Hot Rod figured Rodimus had been through enough pain so there had to something he was missing. He caught sight of Marissa grabbing the front of Magnus' crotch and knew what that meant at least. What he didn't understand was why his own mind kept turning to Foul Play.

Spike's long driveway had never looked so good - or taken so long to get to the end of.

X

X

X

Dinner was interesting that evening. Carly went for broke when Spike told her they had good news. She bought bushels of fried chicken, stuffing, cole slaw, and made two boxes of mashed potatoes herself.

Rodimus didn't want to eat a bite, but for once he had a valid excuse.

"Sorry Carly," he explained cheerfully, "Ratchet gave me a full recharge and I'm not at all hungry."

Carly looked to Lancer for confirmation.

"Truth," said Lancer. She smiled, and turned to her mate. It was obvious he was sending something to her mentally. She flushed.

Carly sighed. "Well, at least I didn't buy him any chicken. Magnus? Do you want Rodi's share?"

"Mmmmpf?" Magnus responded vaguely.

"Marissa! Will you please leave Magnus' lips alone long enough for him to eat? What's gotten into you tonight?" Carly grossed. She wished Marissa was a bit more shy about her relationship with Magnus. Not that it hadn't done Magnus a world of good, but right now Carly had a ton of food on the table and no one seemed to be eating it. Plus she was feeling... unsettled...and didn't need Marissa's blatant foreplay giving her any ideas.

Things had gone downhill the minute the travelers had come home tonight. Rodimus had bounced through the door, picked Carly up in a huge bear hug, and spun her around 'till she was dizzy.

"I take it things went well?" she asked when he put her down.

"Yup!" he yipped. Unsuspecting, Arcee came in and was given a similar whirl-wind greeting....as was Springer.

Foul Play, who had made the mistake of helping Carly set the table, tried to avoid Rodi by flattening herself against the counter. This of course, only spurred him on. She shrieked as he bounced up to her and covered her eyes. Off the ground and round and round she went, squealing in protest. Instead of setting her down he tucked her under his arm, and kept turning her to and fro.

"Foul Play?" he called, "Has anyone seen Foul Play? Yo Hoo! Foul PlaaaAAY?"

"Put me down you asshole Autobot!" she shrieked. She noticed several blobs standing by the door. She was spinning too fast to make them out, but one had reddish hair. Good enough. "Hot Rod! He's your twin! Stop him!"

"Me? What do you want me to do? I don't know how to stop him!" said the reddish blur.

The blondish blur spoke up. "You are so asking the wrong person for help Foul Play."

"Lancer! Help!"

"Tickle him," Lancer said.

"Oh you didn't!" Rodi protested, but Foul Play heard and responded. The Decepticon's fingers blurred desperately and all of a sudden Rodi dropped her as if seared. The giggle (giggle?) he let out was unlike anything she'd ever heard out of him before. He put a lot of distance between them and glared at his mate.

"You outed me," he accused.

"You asked for it, " she said. Turning to a slightly dizzy Decepticon, Lancer instructed. "Know thy enemy's weakness, pupil of mine."

"He's not my enemy....he's just an asshole," Foul Play said derisively. Her dander was up and she felt...unsettled.

Hot Rod snickered.

Rodimus glared at his twin, "She's been hanging around you too much, Ingrate. Besides, I wouldn't laugh if I were you...which I kinda am. If I'm ticklish, do you suppose you're not?"

"OO...let's find out!" cried Lancer. Hot Rod squealed. "Yup! He's ticklish!"

"Lancer! No fair! Hey lay off! Marissa! Go away! Eep!"

Rodimus watched with a smirk as Hot Rod danced around the room trying to avoid any more treacherous finger-tips. "Looks like you are going to improve your maneuverability the same way I did Kid."

Breathless, Hot Rod glared at him. "Asshole," was all he managed.

"Will all of you PLEASE quit running around my kitchen and sit down?" Carly asked stridently. "I want to get this meal over with!"

They all sat quickly, although Hot Rod spoiled their usual arrangement by placing himself pointedly between Spike and Magnus. This was a flawed strategy. Just a few bites into their meal, with Hot Rod fully engrossed in the mashed potatoes, Spike and Magnus made eye contact over his head. Acting as one, they gave the young Autobot simultaneous pokes in the ribs. Hot Rod yelped and pushed himself away from the table with such vigor, he toppled his chair.

Unfortunately he sprayed his tormentors with a mouthful of mashed potatoes on the way down. Fortunately, Spike and Magnus considered the sight of him sprawled on his back with his feet in the air well worth the price.

Carly lost it. "Now see here! This is MY house and My dinner table! You people will eat politely or you won't eat! That goes for you too Spike! I have put up with your uncivilized shenanigans long enough! Eat now. Tease each other later - OUTSIDE!"

"Yes Ma'am!" Magnus said smartly, with no trace of sarcasm.

Spike saluted.

Hot Rod righted himself awkwardly. He paused, suspicious. Neither Magnus nor Spike would even look at him. He sat down with care and ate in peace, although his eyes darted back and forth between Mags and Spike for the rest of the meal.

Carly remained flushed and cranky throughout dinner. She glared at Spike.

Arcee and Springer took turns feeding each other.

Marissa took her usual before-bedtime antics up a notch.

Rodimus and Lancer didn't speak a word, but they didn't look at their food (Lancer forced some cole slaw down Rodi for sheer politeness.) They looked at each other. Once or twice Lancer choked on something she forgot to chew.

That left Hot Rod and Foul Play looking at each other. He was across from her rather than on the same side of the long table for a change. In all the time they had been human, they had never seen this crowd eat in silence....and they were afraid for some reason to break it. Even Daniel was quiet.

Foul Play asked Hot Rod with her eyes what was going on. Hot Rod shrugged.

She stared at him. He stared back. She flushed up to her ears. He wondered about that and ate his chicken.

The minute dinner was over, the kitchen was cleaned up in record time....and with barely a goodnight, the couples disappeared upstairs, except for Lancer and Rodimus who went outside and vanished.

Hot Rod and Foul Play stood in the now empty kitchen and looked at each other again in complete confusion.

"Uh...was it something we said?" Hot Rod asked the air.

"Well, we could go spar or something," Foul Play suggested.

X

X

X

The next morning Lancer and Rodimus were up first, or to bed last, depending on point of view. They went down to the kitchen in the dark - having little need for light anyway.

All was quiet. Finally.

Lancer put on a pot of coffee, extra strong.

I think it was a good idea to get out of the house, Rodi sent.

You should have realized sooner! You set all the girls off! Lancer griped.

You didn't catch on either! Besides...I was happy. Rodimus retorted.

Yeah, but I am one of the girls you set off! I can hardly be blamed for being distracted. Even Spike and Carly were at it for hours! Thank Heavens Danny is sleeping most of the night. We'll be lucky if no one ends up pregnant! Lancer sent in disgust. It was a poor choice in argument. Rodimus was reminded of his earlier euphoria. His people could have kids on their own. HIS people.

Going on 24 hours with no sleep and Rodi could still bounce in place.

Why are we up so early anyway? he sent to his mate. You know no one in this house is going to move before sunrise today except Hot Rod and Foul Play...and they can skip lessons for once. We don't even have to fight with that damned teleporter. What will we do with ourselves. Not that he didn't have suggestions. He came up behind her as she was getting out a mug and wrapped his arms around her.

You are a machine, she returned. Any more and my legs may fall off. Besides, I won't short the young un's their lessons. She held on to her empty mug and watched the coffee slowly fill the pot. Rodimus didn't give up and sent things designed to make the coffee less interesting.

There was an unexpected noise at the back door. Both assassins jerked to full alertness, whirling on the sound and assuming defensive stances. Only Lancer could make an empty coffee mug look like a deadly weapon.

Continued in Part F


	6. Chapter 6

Maelstrom Chapter 31

Conversations in the Kitchen Part F

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Conversations in The Kitchen Chapter 2

Getting to know everything about you  
Part F

Conversations in The Kitchen Chapter 2  
Part F

Continued from Part E!

Hot Rod and Foul Play stood wide-eyed in the doorway, frozen by the sight of them.

The four of them stared at each other.

Anyone else might have just assumed Hot Rod and Foul Play were just up early, but Lancer and Rodimus were trained to notice minutia. The kids were in the same clothes they wore yesterday, clothes that were rumpled and covered with debris. There was grass in their hair. They both looked dazed, and of course, they were holding hands.

The four of them stared at each other.

"Err...." said Hot Rod, "we were just...err...."

"You were just trying to sneak in without being caught. You need more practice, Hot Rod," Lancer chuckled.

"Err..." Hot Rod responded. "Umm..."

"Oh my, his brain is overloaded," said Rodi.

"Heh...so was yours my love," Lancer said. To the terrified kids she said, "Look, no one else is up. If you go quietly enough I doubt anyone else will notice. Go get some sleep!"

"Err..." Foul Play tried. "Thanks?"

"Go to sleep! Just don't sleep too late or people will wonder," Rodi advised.

"Thanks Asshole!" Hot Rod grinned.

"Junior, you'd better watch it or I'll out you to your uncle....or even worse to your MOM!"

Hot Rod paled enough to notice in the dim kitchen. "Off to bed now!" he agreed.

He and Foul Play beat a strategic, if somewhat stiff retreat.

See how cleverly I arranged a morning off for you? Lancer sent.

They left the coffee in the pot and went upstairs.

X

X

X

Neither assassin's lessons, nor appointments at Metroplex for more tests stirred anyone in the household.

Danny's apocalyptic shrieking did. He howled with the indignation of a baby well used to having prompt service. Service was slow.

Finally, Spike slumped out of the master bedroom in his bathrobe, carrying the caterwauling child past all of the other bedrooms in the house. Mumbles of protest followed him down the hall, but he couldn't hear them. Getting formula ready took much too long for all concerned. Finally feeding his son with his eyes closed, Spike blessed the coffee gods for a mysterious full pot. He nearly fed the baby his coffee by accident a few times though.

"Dude, I have so been there," Lancer said with a chuckle. Eyes still glued shut, Spike neither saw nor heard her come in.

"You are lucky I am too tired to be startled and drop this baby," Spike muttered, eyes still closed.

"Rough night boss?" Rodi queried.

"No...a good night, but apparently I'm too old for that much fun," Spike grumbled.

"Well, don't feel bad. No one else is even up yet," Lancer said.

Spike cracked one bleary brown eye and looked at her. "Do you think I want to be here? As soon as this kid's tank is full I'm back to bed."

"Ah," said Rodi. "So Lancer and I will go to Metroplex on our own then?"

"Oh shit...you're supposed to go back for more tests today!" Spike groaned. "Just let me feed Danny and I'll go get dressed."

"I can drive you know," Rodimus suggested. "I am familiar with the concept."

"No!" Spike cried. "Carly needs the van later! She'll kill me!"

"Heh," Rodi snorted. "Um, Spike, no offense to your car and all, but I wasn't suggesting taking the van."

"Then wha...OH NO...Magnus would never forgive me either! Just what we need - a flaming Winnebego raising all kinds of questions."

Lancer snickered, and poured herself some coffee.

"What about me Spike?" Magnus asked suspiciously, coming slowly through the door. He was almost waddling and Lancer grinned. Shortly after him, Marissa entered the kitchen as well. She was definitely waddling.

Getting out the door took much longer than usual that day.

X

X

X

Rodimus fairly well bounced into med-lab, which aggravated Marissa and Magnus to no end, although they couldn't blame him for an instant for being happy. They were tired, but that was their own fault. Mostly. Spike was fortunate to know Metroplex so well. Three cups of coffee sustained him on the short drive over, but now he walked with his eyes closed. Lancer felt guilty enough for his condition to steer him the few times he nearly walked into something.

No one took note of Rodi's silent feet as he frolicked his way towards Med-Lab in human form, but the instant the doors shut behind them he morphed to robot mode. Nothing in his gait changed a whit, including the level of sound.

It was enough for even Magnus' tired brain to note, although what usually would have merely fascinated him annoyed him today.

"The asshole doesn't even make a sound in Autobot form! It's unnatural!"

Ratchet, who had been more distracted by Rodi's uncanny morphing process, now took note of his silence. Elita and Optimus, who had been waiting as well, looked at each other a bit nervously. Lancer was teaching their son to do that too? Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

"How do you do that?" Ratchet wanted to know.

"What? Walk quietly? If you had an assassin with demonic tendencies after you every time you made a sound, you'd learn too! Promise! I don't think about it, and as far as I know, my feet haven't been modified either."

"Can you demonstrate that?" Ratchet asked.

"Walking? I think I can work that out," Rodi laughed. He paced the floor a few times while Lancer giggled. It wasn't that he was walking, it was that everyone else in the room saw fit to follow him. They were large, mechanical ducklings.

"That's amazing!" Ratchet exclaimed. "Are you sure that's simply a matter of practice?"

"Pretty sure, especially since both Elita and Ultra Magnus are learning to do the same. That's partly how I ended up here. Elita walked in behind me so quietly I took her for an intruder. I was so hair-triggered I shot to kill. Fortunately, she's also learned some of Lancer's extreme ways to dodge too."

"Well, love. I'm glad you missed, but you shouldn't have. THAT'S what told me you needed a break," Lancer growled.

It took them a while to get over their fascination with his ability to move around without clanking and he amused them for a while with a few of his more flexible moves. None of this was really getting their research anywhere and finally Lancer saw fit to point that out.

"Gee, Rodi. If the Autobots back home ever give you the boot we can always get you a job at the circus!" she observed.

"You taught me this stuff!" snapped her mate as he walked on his hands across the lab.

"So you could waste bad-guys, not time you clown!"

"Heh. Fine! Be that way! Where do ya want me, Ratchet?"

"The table will be fine," Ratchet replied, craning his head in a vain attempt to look at Rodi right-side-up.

"OK," Rodimus said, pushing off and landing neatly on the table.

Lancer hid her face.

"Gotten a bit silly hasn't he?" Marissa mused to Lancer.

"He's on cloud nine ever since he found out his people can breed independently. The last time I saw him this happy was when I agree to try for a second kid. I warn you, it lasted about a week and took a really big hit on an auction house to settle him down."

Magnus snorted. "This is the first time I really see Hot Rod's attitude in him."

"Oh, it's always there, it's usually just buried under all the shit. Right now there is no shit, and so Hot Rod resurfaces."

"Scary," Magnus said.

Rodimus did behave through Ratchet's next round of tests. Mostly he fired questions at Optimus and Elita about raising a Transformer child.

"We'll give you all the information we can to take back with you Rodimus," Elita assured him.

"I know, but if something happens to it I want to know as much as I can. Plus, all the manuals in the world don't replace experience. Let's all try to forget your kid is my twin, please? I can't go around interviewing the rest of your people and you are the only Autobot parent's I'll get to talk to while I'm here. I need to go home and teach my whole species how to do this! Humans learn to be parents from their parents, but none of us know! Our parent is a lying, manipulative, egomaniacal disco ball with delusions of grandeur. I'm going to have to overcome our ignorance and our twisted past or the first generation is going to be really messed up. The first born are going to suffer from clumsy rearing no matter what! I'm...I'm trying to cut the casualties!"

Optimus Prime and Elita looked at each other, realizing that what he said was both true and terrifying. They suddenly felt as if it was their responsibility to bring an entire species up-to-date on parenting as well.

"I'm not sure we are the best ones to teach you this Rodi," Elita said. "I mean, we weren't always the best parents..."

Lancer snorted. "He's bright, he's happy, and he hasn't killed himself doing anything reckless and silly. I think that's about as good as any parent can hope for!"

"Hah!" Optimus said, "Not for lack of trying. I swear it's a miracle that boy didn't end up flattened his first few years...wanted to be into everything! If he couldn't see it or touch it he'd find a way to climb it or pull it down. The concept of gravity eluded him for what...the first 8, 9 years?"

"Longer," chuckled Elita, "He just got better at hiding it when he fell."

"I say he's still clueless," Magnus griped. "You haven't been stuck in a house with him the last six months."

Rodimus frowned. "Wait...how short was he at first?"

"Hmmm?" Elita asked. "What do you mean? Weren't you a climber when you were little?"

"If by little you mean about 25 feet as Hot Rod, yes, I climbed a few things," Rodimus said.

"25 feet?! Hot Rod isn't that big now when he's in robot mode!"

"Are you trying to tell me that your children err...grow? Like humans do?" Rodimus asked.

"No, not like humans do....do you mean in your dimension you don't grow?"

"Not unless serious injury causes a major body overhaul or a big ass rock tacks the word 'Prime" on the end of your name," Rodimus said.

They gawked at him. He returned the favor.

Optimus finally broke the silence. "You are born...?"

"Activated," Rodimus corrected.

"Activated...you are activated at adult strength?" Optimus said. There was an air of distaste in his tone.

"Full strength, full armor, fully armed," Rodimus whispered, "Ready to fight, ready to die, on day one. We exist to keep Vector Sigma encased in a shell of chaos."

"But...what about time to learn? Time to find out who you are and what you want to do?" Elita asked. Her optics were sad.

"Generally, most of us know what our purpose is at the moment we come online," Rodimus said. "Those that don't are considered...flawed."

Magnus shook his head. "I'm starting to almost bless the damned Quints for my upbringing."

Rodimus glared at him. "That's not funny. Don't ever say that. The fact that my people have a sick start in life does not excuse the fact the Quints deprived you of a healthy one."

"I didn't mean it like that, Rodi and you know it!" Magnus exclaimed indignantly. As if he needed anyone to remind him to hate the Quints. Magnus was taken back a bit by Rodi's venom.

"He knows that, Magnus," Lancer whispered. "He just jealous of this dimension and indignant anyone here should miss out."

Magnus sighed.

X

X

X

Elita and Optimus took turns describing in general how a new Transformer's program was generally a combination of traits from the parents, combined and activated, and given a small, non-transforming body shell to inhabit its first few years of learning and growth. It would then be given progressively larger shells to inhabit as it matured. Alternate modes and Transformation abilities were considered one of the last steps towards adulthood, when the young one's education was nearly complete and they were considered mature enough to handle themselves.

"Ah," said Lancer sagely, "They have to be old enough to drive!"

"Precisely!" Elita exclaimed.

"Although when we finally gave Hot Rod his vehicle mode we wondered if we hadn't done it too soon," Optimus remarked.

They then launched into specifics about their child's formative years.

Rodimus listened intently. The only nod he gave to the fact they were talking about his twin was, "I don't know whether to be gleeful about all this humiliating ammunition or embarrassed myself!"

Lancer, ever helpful, answered, "Be embarrassed, and quit pretending you didn't do exactly the same sort of reckless, hair-brained shit from the minute you were activated. In fact, quit pretending you don't pull the exact same reckless, hair-brained shit NOW!"

"Ah, but now I get away with it!" Rodi claimed.

"I could name a few exceptions to that, so do not go entertaining any ideas of humiliating poor Hot Rod when we get back or I will be returning fire."

"You never let me have any fun."

"Right you are!" Lancer gloated.

With that, Rodimus settled down and cheerfully returned to grilling Optimus and Elita on the fine art of raising Transformers. Elita found it both interesting and depressing that he related everything in terms of his own human children and hoped she was doing an adequate job overcoming any preconceptions he might have. When the day's tests ended they promised him to gather all the information they could find on every angle of a Transformer's development - from the physical to the emotional. Ratchet promised a similar compilation for the person he felt most sorry for in Rodi's dimension, First Aid.

X

X

X

The next day Rodimus wasn't due back at Metroplex until the afternoon.

This caused an unusual crisis.

Rodimus Prime got bored.

The morning training session ended as usual except that Lancer's students were no longer looking ungainly and, the race after class for the showers really looked like a race instead of a penguin migration. There was no teleporter for the dimensional travelers to work on, and Rodimus had nothing to do. As often as he wished for a moments peace in his own dimension he found himself hunting for something to occupy him.

The first thing that presented itself led instantly to the next thing.

First - Daniel.

The baby was in his playpen, rolling around, kicking, and starting to fuss. Rodi looked down at the baby sadly.

"No fun in there for you, huh kiddo? You need to pack the fun in when you can ya know." Glancing around for Carly and coming up empty, Rodimus picked Daniel up and stared into his face. With toddler intensity, Daniel stared back. Liking the attention, he smiled. Rodimus felt tears well up. "You shouldn't smile at me little man. You shouldn't."

He cuddled Daniel's head under his chin and wrapped his arms around the baby as he did sometimes with his own children. There was a moment, a stupid, deluded moment where he always hoped he could protect them from anything if only he could hold them tight enough. He laughed bitterly to himself. Hearing a noise from upstairs he glanced up and then around the room, frowning.

Hot Rod, fresh from the shower, appeared at the top of the stairs, poised for his usual head-long scramble down the steps. Rodimus stood in the livingroom staring up at him with such intensity it froze Hot Rod in his tracks. The younger twin barely noticed Rodi was holding the baby.

Rodimus met his young twin's eyes and tried to weigh what he saw there. Hot Rod felt like a moth confronting a mantis. The moment dragged on until Foul Play, fresh from the exact same shower as Hot Rod, pushed past him down the stairs.

"What's with the road-block?" she asked.

Neither of them answered her, but Rodi did call out.

"Carly?" he yelled.

"What is it?" she called back from the downstairs bathroom.

"Hot Rod and I are taking Danny for a walk," Rodimus replied.

"We are?" Hot Rod asked.

"You are?" Carly asked at the same time. She sounded grateful.

"We are," Rodimus confirmed. His eyes never broke contact with his twin's though.

Foul Play looked back and forth between the two of them. "You Autobots freak me out some times," she complained.

X

X

X

Rodimus carried Danny with him as he led Hot Rod around the perimeter of Spike's house.

"If you were going to break in here how would you do it?" the older red-head asked.

"Um...is this part of the training?" Hot Rod wanted to know.

"You could say that," Rodimus Prime responded.

Accepting that as an explanation for his twin's strange behavior, Hot Rod relaxed and threw himself into the spirit of things. Foul Play trailed behind them and wasn't convinced, but she listened.

"Am I human or an Autobot?"

"Start with human."

"Well, the windows are an obvious place to start. They are all open."

"Agreed. And if they weren't?"

"I'd try to open one. No one ever locks them," Hot Rod stated.

"I do." Rodimus said.

"Really? OK...then I might break one or kick down a door."

"Alright, but what if you didn't want any noise?" Rodimus asked.

"Oh...I'll have to think about that one...If I could climb that tree to the roof I think I can get to the upstairs porch by Carly's room. The latch on that's so old it would probably break easily even if they locked it," Hot Rod mused. He cocked his head at Rodimus. "I think that might be pretty easy actually. Is that the point of this? This house isn't very secure at all!"

"Why don't you try to get in?" Rodi suggested. "Try the tree."

Hot Rod frowned at his twin and then smiled, assuming correctly that he was being tested. He ran over to the enormous live oak that reached over the yard and the house and scrambled up its twisted limbs like a monkey. Reaching the roof-line took him only a few seconds and up and over he went.

Rodimus (still carrying Daniel) followed his progress from the ground, as did Foul Play who was watching with interest.

Coming around the corner they found Hot Rod frozen on the balcony, with his hands up in surrender. Lancer had her fingers pointed at him like a gun, which might have looked silly except that she could use them that way.

"Too much noise," she told him.

"No fair!" he complained, "You knew I was coming."

"No she didn't," Rodimus called up. "I blocked her. It was your big feet on the roof. Next time try harder - we've taught you better than that."

"I thought this was just an exercise!" Hot Rod said.

Rodi's eyes flared green and Lancer's flared white. That was all the warning he got before she flattened him. "That is no excuse for doing less than your best," she growled in his ear. "Now...try again."

Carly didn't quite know what to make of this new phase in Hot Rod's training at first, especially when Rodi and Lancer started in on Foul Play too. They would encourage their trainees to break into the house, chastize them for failing if they didn't, and then challenge them to come up with solutions for the break-in if they succeeded. On the one hand, it was unnerving to see all the different ways Hot Rod could devise to get into the house. On the other hand, she could see him practically smoking about the ears trying to find new ways in, and even more ways to keep himself out.

Whatever his solution was, Rodimus would help him implement it in ways that would NOT destroy Carly's house, nor interfere with the safety of her family. Better, self-latching locks on the windows were certainly a good idea. A basic alarm system was another, but Carly could see Rodimus pushing Hot Rod further and further until he had by-passed both, broken in through the attic, the basement windows, and even the vents on the roof.

In the mornings there was group training for everyone, but Hot Rod and Foul Play quit running for the showers and kept at it. When Rodi was away for tests in the afternoon, Hot Rod was working on solving his own security breaches. Once back in the evening, Rodimus would check and criticize his twin's handiwork...and he was quite critical. However every criticism was backed up by a demonstration of the problem and a lot of help seeing the solution. Everything they thought of was masked seamlessly into the decor. Spike usually had to be briefed on the changes because he rarely spotted them - except the time the sprinklers kicked in when he cut across the yard when bringing Rodi and Lancer back from Metroplex.

"Motion detectors!" Hot Rod explained proudly. "It's a lot harder to sneak in when you are soaking wet! That first blast will make people yelp too, and if you are home you will hear the water kick in."

Spike, dripping sullenly in the door, growled "Am I going to be able to walk across my own lawn without getting drenched? Are the squirrels going to set this thing off too?"

"Err...Hadn't thought of that," Hot Rod said, crestfallen.

"Part of security is letting people you want in safely," Rodimus said with a chuckle. "It's a good idea, but we need to work on it."

"Yeah...you know it's probably good I didn't have the materials to go ahead with my first idea."

"What was that?" Magnus asked. He found all of this an ingenious training method, and amusing besides.

"Lasers!" Hot Rod cried.

Spike cursed, but Lancer, Rodi, and Magnus laughed.

X

X

X

Aside from that and a few similar incidents, Carly had very little to complain of. In fact, she felt she was getting a bit spoiled, and a bit bored. Rodi and Lancer were shaming the others into doing more and more of the chores. They didn't say anything, but they always helped make and clean up the meals and whatever else they could as the day went on. As their training progressed and their coordination improved, everyone earned clearance to help with the dishes. It became a sort of rite-of-passage to clean up the plates. One day, when Rodi was off from being tested, he organized a "war on dirt", and efficiently coordinated an assault on the floors and furniture. Even Magnus took orders by lifting things Carly hadn't vacuumed under for years so Arcee could clean underneath them. In about three hours they had dusted, vacuumed, mopped, and organized everything from the kitchen floors to the garage.

The biggest help however was Rodi the baby-sitter. He took Daniel with him everywhere in the house. They inspected Hot Rod's handiwork together. Rodi fed the baby while he watched Foul Play breaking in, and changed him while critiquing her mistakes when Lancer caught her. Carly remarked it was like having a live-in nanny.

And yet...Rodimus had no shortage of funny, outrageous stories about everyone in his world from Optimus to Grimlock. These he would share around the dinner table until people forgot to eat. Daniel's name never came up. The one time Carly asked him about it he told her he didn't want to "spoil any of the surprises or influence her choices as a parent." He cited his concerns about Optimus and Hot Rod, and explained he was even more concerned that Danny was so young. He smiled that huge, infectious grin, handed her Daniel, and vanished like smoke.

Carly looked at her suddenly returned son, and the empty air where Rodimus had stood. She smoothed her baby's curls and went to find Spike upstairs.

X

X

X

"And so, there he was, looking into the end of his blaster and pulling the trigger. Lancer said it would have served him right if she had put the charge back in it," Rodimus snickered.

The table laughed.

"Grimlock sounds a lot dumber than he does here," Springer observed.

"He's pretty dumb," Lancer agreed with a fond chuckle.

Carly wasn't laughing. She was watching her visitors and debating her next move. She chose, and went for broke.

"Rodimus?" she asked.

"Hmm?" he said, turning to face her.

"How did Daniel die? Was he Converted?" she asked.

She said it so softly, in such a conversational way, that most of the table took a second or two to register what she was asking. Silence didn't so much as fall, but stumbled its way around the table. Spike's eyes were wide with shock. They had discussed this, but not the possibility she might just come out and ask over ice-cream.

It was Rodi's face she was really watching though. Rodi - whose face slowly drained of all color. Even his green eyes went grey. Lancer got to her feet and went to stand behind him, grabbing his shoulders, holding him up.

"Yes," he whispered. His voice was flat.

Carly nodded and went on. "Did...did you have to kill him?"

"I got the chip out. I got the chip out in front of you. You screamed. You scream every time the meds wear off. I put my hand through his face and the screaming isn't going to stop. It was programmed to kill you. I should have let it rather than do what I did." Lancer fell to her knees behind him and wrapped her arms around him, but he didn't acknowledge her. He stared at Carly with pupils so contracted they were almost invisible.

"Rodimus! Are you saying my son is dead in your dimension?! Are you saying my wife is insane...because of you?!"

"Yes. Your family is destroyed, Spike. My fault. My failure. When my work is done you will kill me for it...and I will let you." He spoke to Spike, but he stared at Carly.

"No..." Lancer mouthed, but only Marissa saw her.

"How?" Spike roared, "How did it happen?! How did you LET it happen?!"

"It was a crew of slavers. They had a message. For you, Spike. Optimus and I...were pressuring Earth's governments to increase their security on ships to Cybertron through you as Ambassador. We pretended we were worried about drugs and contraband. The slavers... objected to your involvement. They couldn't get you directly. Our security was too good, but Daniel was in EDC. One of his first official missions with Wheelie. Out of our protection.

They took them. Filmed themselves beating them, torturing them. There were seven crew members - they took turns raping Daniel. Made Wheelie watch, and filmed the whole thing for you Spike. They told you it was your fault while they raped him...but it wasn't your fault. It was my fault. They made sure to bruise him, bite him. They Converted him while they raped him. It was the last thing he knew in this life. They didn't try to hide the wound or preserve his personality. Its only programming was to rape Carly and kill her - leaving the bodies and the video where they would be found by strangers. But I...I was there too. I knew, before I scanned it. It was bloody, bruised, dead. I scanned it anyway. It drew a blaster on Carly, but that's not why I moved. I got the chip...I got it out of him. I...it had to come out of him. I killed Wheelie too. I never showed Spike the video. It was for me."

"You watched it?" Marissa cried.

"Yes," Rodimus said, his voice still utterly flat as it had been when describing the torture chamber.

From behind his back Lancer met Marissa's eyes and mouthed "over and over and over." She clutched her mate tighter, but he took no notice of her.

"It told me who to hunt for. It told me who to kill."

"Did you get them?" Magnus asked sharply.

"Yes."

"Did you kill them?" Magnus asked.

"Eventually," Rodimus said.

"Good," Magnus said.

"I also killed their boss, and his boss, and their bosses, and their bosses, and every associate I could find."

"Good," said Arcee. Even Springer was a bit surprised at her blood-thirsty tone.

Spike pounded his fists on the table until Magnus glass vibrated off the edge and fell with a crash. No one moved to pick it up. Lancer let go of her mate and disappeared upstairs. No one but Marissa saw her slip away. Their eyes were on Spike and Rodi.

"You have been here for months," Spike accused. "In MY house, with THIS family."

"We tried to leave," Rodimus whispered.

"I can't believe this!" Spike raged. He was furious, sickened.

"We are going," Rodimus said. "We are gone."

Carly surged to her feet. There were tears on her face but she seemed much more in control than her husband. "Has anyone asked you to leave? Have they? You insult me! You insult my family! Do you think us unable to distinguish here from there? Do you think I don't know where the guilt lies? You take it all on yourself, but it was THEM, not you! You think I don't know you would die for me? For anyone here? You think I don't know you love my son like your own? Tell your mate to put those bags back upstairs, and so help me Rodimus Prime, you had damned well be here for your God-forsaken glass of orange juice in the morning."

"But..." Rodimus said. Emotion crossed his face for the first time, and it was pure bewilderment.

"But nothing!" Carly cried, her voice shrill. She reached out and poked Rodi in the chest to the time of her words. "You will stay here! You will get your stupid teleporter fixed, and you will go home and stop them. You will continue locking down my house, teaching Hot Rod, and carrying around my son while you're at it! Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No but..." he started, looking from her to Spike who was still flushed with rage.

"We already talked about this you ass! You think we didn't notice how you NEVER talk about Danny. You think we couldn't guess why?"

"But.." Rodi said, "but..." His eyes dilated. He shut them tight. "I'm sorry," he mouthed silently.

"You'll be really sorry if you disappear," Carly threatened. Rodimus had the sense to be intimidated.

"I can not believe you didn't tell us this," Spike grated.

Lancer glided into the doorway, and she was in fact holding their bags. She set them down on the floor. "Do you think you are better for knowing? Do you really want to look at your child and think that? You will now, I promise you, just like we do when we look at ours."

"It's not like it doesn't happen here too," Marissa said very quietly.

Arcee's head snapped around.

Continued in Part G


	7. Chapter 7

Maelstrom Chapter 31

Conversations in the Kitchen Part G

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Conversations in The Kitchen Chapter 2

Getting to know everything about you  
Part G

Continued from Part F!

Spike glared at Lancer, "Still!"

Lancer stepped in behind Rodimus whose eyes were still clamped shut. She squeezed at his shoulders and this time his hands came up to clutch at hers. "It has been only six months since this went down Spike, and since that time it has been non-stop carnage. Remember how tired and hair-triggered we were? The fact that you think we should have told you doesn't mean we could. The ugly truth is my mate had to scrape your son's brains out from under his fingernails and ya know he's just not coping too well with that. Back in the day if Hot Rod was AWOL it was usually off taking Danny for joy-rides. They grew up together like two silly peas in a pod, at least until Rodi inherited the Matrix."

Lancer stop, Rodi sent.

No. She looked back at Spike. "I'm sorry you feel we deceived you. It wasn't to hurt you, I promise."

"Of course it wasn't," Carly said.

"But," Rodi said. He opened his eyes, glazed with unshed tears, looked at Spike's flushed face and closed them again.

Spike scowled. "Rodimus I am furious. I want to kill someone I'm so furious, but it's the whole fucking situation in your universe! I can't hold you responsible for your whole universe even if you insist that you are. Optimus does that too...must be a Prime thing."

Magnus leaned back in his chair which creaked in protest. "I think I beat that out of him, mostly."

"Nah," said Hot Rod. "Takes more than one beating."

Rodimus threw his twin a perplexed and hostile glance. If he intended to say anything Carly interrupted.

"Rodimus, what about Spike? How...how is he handling it?"

Rodimus closed his eyes again, and Lancer gave a malicious grin full of fangs.

"Well," Rodimus finally answered slowly, "if they intended to discourage Spike they more than failed. They made him a man with nothing left to lose. He's become a political tank to be blunt. I think he's always thought of himself as sort of a messenger boy between us and Earth's governments. Not anymore. He's...inexorable. He won't play games. He won't listen to compromises. The bribes they throw at him are a joke, and he takes our names in vain. One hint of dissension and he threatens to pull our support from any government giving him shit...and we will too. The Cons don't go anywhere we don't control anyway so they can think they are on their own if they like. So far though, the threats are enough, and Earth security is looking more like a sieve than a breached dam."

"At least he's making himself useful," Spike muttered. "I can just as easily see my...him holing up and never coming out."

"Far from it," Rodimus said, shaking his head. "Our biggest worry is the Jabez or one of the big sponsors will get fed up. If that happens, Spike is a dead man. I...don't think he much cares. Claudia says the only things keeping him in this world are revenge on the slavers and revenge on me."

"Claudia?" Spike asked.

"Revenge on you?" Carly asked at the same moment.

"Claudia is my empathic friend," Lancer said. "She scanned Spike and Carly for us. She...she says Carly's mind is likely irretrievable, and Spike is just biding his time. He...he hopes Rodimus will finish off the Jabez during his lifetime so that he can kill Rodi himself."

"He has a right to me," Rodimus said.

"So do I! So do the girls! So do the Autobots!" Lancer snapped. "You really piss me off with that crap. You have bigger obligations than proving how guilty you feel by letting Spike waste you!"

Rodimus refused to look at her. She crossed her arms and glowed about the eyes. Her tail hit the floor in a rapid, violent rhythm.

Spike sat down. He stared into Rodimus' face. "Would you really let him?"

Rodi didn't answer, he looked down at his hands.

"Rodimus...look, I know that this wasn't really my family, but... I'm sure he's lost, devastated. I'm yelling at you because you're here... you're a target I can hit, but... He's probably doing the same only worse. Rodi he'll get over it. You said yourself it only just happened. He'll grieve, and when the pain isn't so raw he'll remember you did the best you could!"

Rodimus shook his head. "I didn't...I didn't. Maybe I couldn't have prevented what happened, but I didn't have to dispose of that Convert in front of Carly. At least not the way I did...I went for the chip. I...I wanted it out of him. I forgot about Carly...I just saw them using him. Violating his body, not even letting it die with his mind. I didn't think...I just went after it."

"If the tables were turned, you'd be more understanding if Spike killed Edana than you are of yourself!" Lancer growled.

"Spike didn't set this situation up," Rodimus said.

"Neither did you, you stupid heap of circuits!" Lancer snarled. Her jaw ground and the veins along her neck and temple throbbed visibly. "You just made a particularly ugly mistake! A mistake! Even people with 'Prime' stuck on their name get to make a few of those!"

Rodimus said nothing out loud, but treated Lancer with a headful of something black, sullen, and nameless. She threw her hands up and turned her back on him.

"Rodimus?" Carly asked, "How old was Daniel when he died?"

"He was 28. Just out of officer's training."

"So you were friends a long time," she stated solemnly.

"For a while, we were like brothers. Then I got this new job and wasn't such a good friend anymore. He...he always understood."

"It's funny...he's my son, but you know the kind of person he was better."

Rodimus shuddered. He hadn't given the kind of person Daniel was much thought recently. He couldn't get past the impact of his hand, the warm rush of blood, the splintering bone, Carly screaming... Tears started in his eyes again but he refused to let them fall. He had no right to grieve.

"Would he have wanted you to leave him that way?" Carly pried.

"He would have expected me to protect his mother," Rodimus stated.

"But, I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted his body used against me either," reasoned Carly. She knew she shouldn't be speaking in first person, but she thought maybe it would help.

"No...no. He loved you so much Carly...he was a...good person."

"Then he wouldn't want to be used against me, or against Spike."

"Of course not," Rodimus said firmly.

"Thank you," Carly said.

Rodimus blinked. "But..."

"No...I mean it. Thank you. Thank you for freeing him. Thank you for caring so much about him. I know my twin couldn't stand to see him die that way, but I doubt being raped by him would have been better. I know you killed him without thinking or hesitating, but you kept his memory whole. To her, you killed her son, but he was still her son, not some dead monster sent to destroy his family. You only see what went wrong, but I see that Spike is functioning, and my twin has a chance."

"But..." said Rodimus.

Magnus had had enough of that response. "You are sitting on it," he quipped.

Rodimus turned green eyes on him. "Magnus?" he said.

"Yeah?" Magnus responded, readying himself.

Rodi's fist flashed towards the City commanders nose and made some contact in spite of the gladiator's fore-sight.

"I'm in no mood for your humor," Prime threatened.

"Heh...fast bastard. That's a shame really," Magnus grinned. "You're stuck with it."

Foul Play stared, shook her head, and muttered something about never understanding Autobots while the Autobots in question smirked along with their City Commander. Rodimus glared at all of them, Magnus in particular, with eyes that were still glassy and dazed. Lancer frowned and wished he'd just let the tears go already instead of repressing them by finding something to get annoyed about. Just as she was getting ready to try (again!) to get him to let go, Carly made the move for her.

Carly sensed somehow that the armor was coming up, that Rodimus was gearing up to cause some kind of diversion by picking a fight with Magnus. Anything to change the subject.

She got up and tapped Rodimus on the shoulder. He flinched, and turned those strange, haunted eyes up to hers with obvious trepidation. He seemed frozen in his seat. She let her own tears fall, knelt in front of him, and before he could move away she gathered him in her arms. She didn't say a word, just held on to him until he sagged against her.

He didn't make a sound, but she felt his shoulders shake, and felt a dampness growing at her shoulder. She stayed there for several minutes and when she finally pulled back he just buried his head in his arms on the table.

Carly looked to Lancer and found the mutant leaning on the counter with tears streaming down her face and an odd half-smile on her lips.

"Thank you," the mutant mouthed at Carly, who nodded and got up to go to her husband. Spike smiled at her and kissed her hand. He was proud of her compassion and resolve.

Rodimus continued to hide his head in his arms and Marissa finally took over. She silently got to her feet and waved the others out of the room in a reluctant procession. Lancer smiled at her through her tears as the EDC captain forced everyone out.

Marissa passed by the mutant on her way out. "Is he OK? Do you need anything?"

"I...I think this is just what he needed, Marissa. It will be fine," Lancer said.

X

X

X

The next few days were like living with a pair of poltergeists. Carly poured Rodimus' glass of juice defiantly and set it on the counter. Then she reached for her coffee mug and creamer in the cupboard. Turning, she shrieked with surprise. The juice was gone, the glass empty and in the sink, and the screen door was slowly drifting closed.

The "ghosts" were seldom seen, never heard, and difficult to prove if you did catch sight of one. Most evidence of their presence came in the form of objects mysteriously moving themselves when no one was looking.

Finally, after about two days of seeing neither of them for more than a fleeting instant, Lancer showed up at the breakfast table with her usual paper in one hand, and a huge steaming mug of coffee in the other. If either Magnus or Marissa (first up) were surprised to see her, they gave no sign.

"Morning," she said casually.

"Morning Lancer," Marissa said cheerfully.

Magnus, always more taciturn in the morning anyway, settle for his standard, futile attempt to punch her in the arm like he did everyone else.

As predicted, she effortlessly avoided the blow. The coffee in her mug never rippled.

"Where's your mate?" Marissa asked. Her tone was light and casual.

Lancer smiled. "He's fine, don't worry. In fact I think he may be more fine than he's been in years. As for where he is," Lancer pointed up. "He's up on the roof having a good cry. If there is one thing he and Optimus share it's a compulsion to seek high-ground when they're upset."

"Ah," Magnus said sagely. "Optimus does that here too. Hot Rod doesn't," Magnus paused, thought about it, and amended himself, "yet."

Lancer smiled, then looked sad, then blinked watering eyes. She shuddered, shook her head, and smiled again.

"Are...are you OK?" Marissa asked.

Lancer took a long swig of coffee and smiled ruefully. "I am. I'm trying to give him some space, which is never easy where we are concerned. Once in a while he gets to me though." She looked toward the living room door and narrowed her eyes.

Marissa cocked her head and frowned a little, "I'm surprised you aren't with him."

Lancer shrugged, "Where do you think I've been the last two days? I've had enough shingles up my posterior, and he...he needs time to deal with this on his own. Sometimes...sometimes this whole mental link thing becomes a crutch."

Marissa frowned deeper, "Still..."

Lancer sighed and met Marissa's eyes sadly, "Marissa, Danny was his friend...his little brother really...and Carly, well. If Kup was like his father, Carly was the closest thing he had to a mom. Arcee was the only female Autobot he knew until Elita's band was revived after he got tortured, and she's nearly the same age he is. Carly was the one who yelled at the boys when they got home after dark. She was the one with the garden hose for both of them after one of their deep woods adventures. He should have been an ATV, not a sports car for all the mud they got into. She saved his butt from many disciplinary actions from a cranky City Commander with that hose of hers. He might have shown up late for inspections, but at least he showed up clean."

"I'm not..." Marissa started. "Morning Spike," she said awkwardly.

Spike grunted in answer, pretending to be too sleepy to have noticed what Lancer said.

Lancer pretended not to know he'd been listening by the door.

Marissa watched Spike get his coffee and decided to continue. "I'm not challenging his right to grieve, Lancer. I'm just surprised you aren't with him."

"If he really needs me, I'll know, " Lancer said softly, "What he's going through is normal grief, and he needs to go through it. If I'm with him...if we're with each other the burden seems lighter, we both feel stronger, but he needs to do this the hard way."

"Still," Marissa started.

Lancer's eyes flared briefly. "I'm not going to live forever either." she growled. "I won't leave him an emotional cripple. Grieving is hard for him, kinda like screaming. If he relies on me too much...what will happen to him after I die?"

Marissa stiffened, "You're right."

Lancer toasted her with the coffee mug.

"How long do you think he'll be up there?" Magnus asked.

"Up where?" Spike asked.

Lancer smiled at his deceit. "On your roof, like a big, red-headed weather-vane. 100 percent chance of sulking. Oh, quit griping Rodi. It is always a good time to pick on you. If you want to get me back for it do it when you can stop leaking around the eyes!"

If Rodimus chose to get Lancer back, he did it in private, because when he finally reappeared it was in the morning just like Lancer did. Two days later, orange juice, not coffee.

"Deja vu," Magnus said. He missed Lancer as per tradition, and socked Rodimus in the arm. Per tradition, he was thumped soundly in return.

"Morning guys," Marissa said happily. Awkward as it was, she was relieved to see Hot Rod's twin. She scrutinized him at length before sitting down.

"Do I pass inspection Captain?" Rodi asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"No," Magnus said. "Defective through and through."

"Major General, thou art a pain in the ass," Rodi said.

"You look fine," Marissa said, "but your eyes are still puffy."

Rodimus sighed and gave Lancer a dirty look.

"I did not reveal some kind of classified information Mr. Prime Sir," Lancer said, not looking up from her paper. "You are entitled to cry just like everyone else so save your macho stupidities for someone who cares."

"Whatever," he said.

"OO...a snappy comeback," Lancer observed, looking up and grinning at him.

Rodimus stuck his tongue out at her.

"Major General?" Magnus asked.

"Ah," Rodimus said, happy for a distraction, "now there is a story worth telling!"

By mid-day, Spike was packing Magnus, Marissa, Rodimus and Lancer into his van again for resumed testing at Metroplex. He was cheerful, the girls were chatting, Rodimus was only slightly subdued, and Magnus was sulking.

"Oh get over it," Spike said to Magnus. "It wasn't even you."

"I will never command the respect of my troops again," Magnus averred. "Even Arcee is calling me Major General. Arcee! The only well-behaved one of the lot of you!"

"You can order them to stop saying it," Marissa suggested.

"Yes, but I can't order them to stop thinking it! I can see it, lurking in Hot Rod's eyes. One more reason for me to hate your Vector Sigma, Rodimus. I don't know how my twin has held on to his restraint."

"Well, the fact I enslaved the damned thing didn't hurt," Rodimus sneered. "I'm going to make him happy when I get home though."

"What are you going to do to it?" Spike asked with venom. He no longer really blamed Rodi for the death of "his" son. Instead he decided to blame Vector Sigma for tampering with the Autobots in the first place.

"I'm going to recruit one of Lancer's friends."

Lancer coughed.

"OK...not really a friend but a comrade in arms. Kain, the Maelstrom's resident telepath."

"Not a friend Lancer?" Marissa asked as Spike pulled onto the road.

"Kain is a Drazi," Lancer explained. "Humans are beneath his friendship."

"A Drazi? What's he doing with you guys? I thought they never left their own world."

"His sister is an exception to that, and where Pagan goes, he goes." Lancer grinned. "He's a Class 1 telepath and he is going to pick Vector Sigma's brain down to the wiring. I'm going to take pictures."

"Too bad you can't send us some," Marissa grumbled.

"If we can find a way to get home, maybe we will," promised Rodi.

"You guys are blood-thirsty," Spike said with a wolfish grin.

"Yup," Lancer agreed, "and you like it."

X

X

X

That day's tests involved a run through the Autobots' training facility. Rodimus made quick work of their toughest obstacle course on his own, even though it was a team course.

The rest of the day proved much more taxing for Rodi. They put him in a chamber loaded with every kind of sensor they could imagine and asked him to morph between robot and human form over and over. After about two hours of that, Rodimus had to call them off. He was pale, and shaking from exertion.

"I never knew how much energy I used doing that," he exclaimed.

Ratchet apologized for the team and insisted he refuel before going back to Carly's. In spite of the refueling, he slept on Lancer's shoulder on the way home, and actually ate a full serving of macaroni salad for dinner.

"A miracle," Carly exclaimed, throwing her arms over her head. He was obviously still nervous around her since his response was a wide-eyed stare.

Sick of that reaction, as well as his new habit of avoiding Daniel with as much clearance as possible, Carly got drastic.

"Spike, we are going to the movies!" she announced.

Spike choked a bit. He wasn't even finished eating.

"Right now?" he asked, incredulous.

"Now," she ordered, picking up the baby as if to take him along.

She walked past Rodi's chair. He curled his shoulders in ever so slightly.  
"Here ya go," she said, deftly dropping Daniel into Rodi's lap. The Autobot had no options but to catch the baby or let him fall. Caught, Danny giggled.

"You baby-sit! Bye!" Carly said. She grabbed her amazed husband by the arm and dragged him towards the door.

Rodimus sat frozen, wide-eyed.

Marissa applauded and the rest of the table followed suit, except for Lancer who rested her cheek on her hand and mooned at Rodi.

"But..." Rodi said.

"You're sitting on it!" Springer and Arcee said together.

"But..." Rodi said, making a move as if to hand the baby off to someone, anyone, else. Suddenly the whole room became a flurry of activity. Never had so many hands had so many dishes to attend to.

He looked hopefully at Lancer.

"In your dreams, My Love," she said, still gazing at him, dew-eyed.

Daniel giggled and wet his diaper. It leaked and ran down Rodi's arm.

Rodimus sat another long second in shock. Then snickered. He suppressed it, looked guilty, and then completely against his will, snickered again.

Daniel babbled at him, and sneezed.

"You did that on purpose," Rodimus accused the baby.

Danny grinned.

"OK, fine," Rodimus said. "Have it your way." He tucked the boy unceremoniously under his arm and went off to change him.

"Yes!" Lancer said. She jumped to her feet and went to help clean an already immaculate kitchen.

X

X

X

Routine, if you could call it that, resurfaced. Training for everyone in the morning, break-ins and security upgrades in the early evening, and scientific "pokings" for Rodimus in the afternoons. Daniel once again became part of Rodi's equipment as he followed the trainees through their break-ins. Carly remarked it was hard to decide who was funnier - Rodimus in the way he carried the baby everywhere, or Danny for giggling about it so much.

Weeks passed. The students grew quieter and surer of foot, Springer learned to do the splits, and the Witwicky house became the most secure craftsman-style home in Earth's history. It would now withstand nearly anything short of a direct blast from a fusion cannon.

"Not that I don't have plans for that," Hot Rod explained to Spike seriously, "but we'd need Grapple and Hoist to pull them off....and girders...lots of girders."

Spike laughed. His only complaint was that now his camera system was such that he did in fact know too much about the soap-opera life-style of the squirrels in his yard.

Rodimus grinned. "OK Ingrate, you graduate. Ready for something bigger?"

"Like what?" Hot Rod wanted to know.

Rodimus looked at Magnus and grinned.

X

X

X

The next day, Kup came into Prime's office with a perplexed look on his face and a scrap of paper in his hand. He looked ridiculous, carefully trying to hold an 8"x10" piece of paper between his huge fingers.

"Kup...what in Cybertron's name is that?" Optimus wanted to know.

"It's a note...from your son. He says he's stolen all of the energon chits out of your desk and that if you want them back you have to spring for pizza."

Continued in Part H


	8. Chapter 8

Maelstrom Chapter 31

Conversations in the Kitchen Part H

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing back in the late 1980's. It began as a fan-publication so the first chapters are in the form of a comic book! If you have not read the nine original **Maelstrom Comics** and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This is a complex universe. They can be found at http// illmatar. deviantart. com (I have put double spaces between the URL here or FF . Net eats the link.) The comics and art which accompanies this series are there...and believe me I am a better artist than writer.

**Most chapters of this series contain strong language and violence. Rated M for adult themes! Really! Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Critiques adored! This scene contains strong language, violence, and sex. **

**  
Transformers characters belong to Hasbro. Story and OC characters are mine. Critiques adored!  
**

Conversations in The Kitchen Chapter 2

Getting to know everything about you  
Part H

Continued from Part G!

Security at Metroplex was never the same. Kup hung the first note on the wall in Prime's office as "inspiration for some crankin' vigilance around here!" Shortly Prime's pristine office was cluttered with notes from all sorts of sources. The one from Magnus got pinned under a few others as it contained words Prime didn't approve of. Arcee submitted a smiley face and a kiss applied with lip stick she borrowed from Carly for that purpose. Springer's simply said "Gotcha!" in big green letters. Marissa's contained a few helpful pointers, and Lancer drew a fairly realistic scowling self-portrait with the caption "this is just sad." Optimus hid that one too; the eyes followed him and made him antsy.

Far and away, the most were from Hot Rod and Rodimus. They had obviously made a bet with each other as to who could be the most obnoxious. Notes with supposedly humorous musings about the goings on in Metroplex were found all over the base. They both delighted in spying on people and recording what they observed happening. Usually, the person they were tailing also had to endure some form of prank.

Optimus' stolen energon cost him an entire weekend's worth of pizza. Then his drawers got rearranged. His chair was sabotaged. A bunch of his personal belongings migrated from his quarters to his office. A fish bowl full of live fish appeared on his desk and he REALLY didn't know what to do about that.

Around base there was even more chaos. Someone straightened out Perceptor's lab and he had near hysterical surges when he couldn't find anything. Grimlock claimed a "voice from the vent" in the weapons room taught him a "song which don't end" and asked him to sing it always. He did his best to comply, continuously and out of tune. Caricatures of various Autobot's materialized all over base. Some were even pretty good. Teletran Two's work screens all had one of Op in a yoga pose for about three days. The caption read, "I am at peace. I am serene. I will not worry....Like hell I won't!" It took Wheeljack three days to clear it because the perpetrator had done his hacking so well... according to Wheeljack. Optimus suspected Wheeljack took his time, mostly because of the quaver of laughter in Wheeljack's voice every time Optimus demanded a status report.

Then things got more elaborate. Swoop's collection of shiny trinkets showed up strung like bangles on a wire. He wore it around his neck and circled the base screeching joyfully for about 6 hours. Even Elita was looking to hurt someone after that. The speaker systems started playing a cacophonic mix of rock music unless someone was actually paging someone else.

Optimus was at least grateful none of the pranks actually inhibited the functioning of the base, but since some of the music hadn't even been written in this dimension yet, Blaster admitted to leaving it on deliberately. He confessed when Kup caught him dancing to it in the communications room.

It was funny, it was frustrating, and it had Kup running all over the base cursing and modifying as he went.

"I'm gettin' too blasted old for this head-crackin' job!" Kup cried. "I THOUGHT we were pretty locked down but those... those vermin find cracks everywhere!"

"Did you just call my son and his twin vermin?" Optimus asked mildly.

Kup paused. Then "You bet your tail-pipe I did!"

"Good," Optimus said, "I was thinking the same thing."

Grimlock passed their door, humming his song.

Both of them watched the Dinobot go by in silence.

"Maybe we should call an exterminator. As for you being too old, Kup I am so glad it's you handling this. I wouldn't even want to be on the same planet as Magnus if they were trying this stuff on his office!"

X

X

X

"You aren't doing anything to my office are you?" Magnus asked in a very neutral voice. He was sitting in "his" armchair, with his body slunk low in the seat, and his arms running down the length of the armrests.

"Hell No!" Hot Rod exclaimed. "I don't have a death wish!"

Magnus looked at his nephew appraisingly. The boy seemed utterly sincere. Then his eye fell on Rodimus who was cuddled next to Lancer on the couch. They were watching the news, and Rodimus didn't even appear to hear Magnus' question. Magnus' eyes narrowed suspiciously. The older twin did have a death wish. His hands clenched the ends of the armrests. He forced them to relax.

"Rodimus?"

"Hmm?" Rodi turned towards him, one eyebrow quirked in question.

"Have you made any...modifications to my office?"

"No, although I have been in there. You really do need to do something about the size of those air-shafts Major General."

Hot Rod snickered at the nick-name. Magnus glared. Hot Rod stopped.

"Are you sure?" Magnus intoned.

"Positive! What would be the point of annoying you there when I can do that here and enjoy the results?" Rodimus asked. He blinked stupidly at Magnus.

Magnus settled for scowling. He knew he'd never get across the room in time to throttled the asshole.

"Whoops," said Lancer, elbowing her mate in the ribs.

"Ow!" Rodi complained.

"If you want to start trouble either take it out or wait until after the news," Lancer snarled.

"As you wish, Lady Assassin," Rodi said with a small salute.

"And you call my twin whipped," Magnus smiled, baring his teeth.

X

X

X

Then finally, almost 5 months after the big crash in the back-yard, came the call from Metroplex.

"No more tests today, Rodimus. Bring everyone in, what we need to say affects everybody."

X

X

X

They all crammed into Spike's van. Lancer and Foul Play ended up sitting on the laps of their mates, not that anyone minded too much at first. Rodimus took the opportunity to start trouble with Lancer, and with this sterling example to live up to, Hot Rod attempted similar things on the sly with Foul Play. Her pale skin got redder as the trip progressed and he was pleased she couldn't protest.

She tromped on his foot. He behaved. By the time they got to Metroplex Hot Rod was sulking and complaining his legs were asleep.

Everybody who knew about the travelers met in Optimus' office. The humanized Autobot's tested their new skills by climbing up onto the chairs and the desk to get comfortable. The full-sized Autobots crowded in. The real humans once again wondered why they were crazy enough to cram into small places with all this metal moving around.

"Well, we have compiled all of our data," Perceptor began when everyone assembled. "Let's begin with the good news. Although the process which turned our dimension's people into humans is different from the Jabez technique we were able to find enough similarities and information to extrapolate a possible method for returning you all to your rightful forms. It is even a slim possibility you may be able to use this technique to turn back and forth should any of you ever want to...although I can not imagine this would be the case. We owe a great deal to Rodimus for helping us with this research, although that does not excuse vandalizing a scientific research facility."

"Um...Perceptor...I was the one who cleaned-up your lab...I thought it was helping," Hot Rod confessed in a small voice.

"Hmmph," Perceptor snorted, "Be that as it may, we will be able to utilize our information, now that we can locate it, to embark on designing a device which will return the five of you to normal."

"I really did think I was doing a good thing," Hot Rod whispered to Foul Play.

"Sure ya did," she retorted out loud. She was still stewing, and not in a sympathetic mood.

"If I may continue?" Perceptor said primly, "As for our guests, their problems are a bit more...complex."

"What else is new?" Rodimus sighed.

Wheeljack took over. He had bad news for the travelers, and he didn't trust Perceptor to be diplomatic. "We took your teleporter apart. There really wasn't much left to do on the circuitry. You guys were pretty thorough. Nice work by the way, for people who claim to have no idea what they're doing. As you guessed though, the crystal is the problem. As far as we can tell, it is the brains of the device. We can see the crystal has patterns in its structure, but not how to read them or how they are made. I can get some feedback from it if I pass a current through it, so I don't think it's totally destroyed, but unless we can find a replacement I think you are stuck."

"Unless we take a piece off of the Matrix that is," said Ratchet.

Optimus winced. He was afraid it might come to that, and had been wrestling with his morals. On the one hand, he knew Rodi's Autobots needed their leader back. On the other, the few hours he had given it to his science team to look at had been the longest of his life...even though he hovered the whole time. In the end though, he knew what he had to say, "If it comes to that..."

"No...no way," Rodimus interrupted.

"You've got to get home Rodimus. The Matrix is meant to protect the Autobots, whatever dimension they may be in," Optimus said gravely.

"Putting your own people in jeopardy only has two dimensions of Autobots in peril, Optimus. You can forget it." Rodimus argued.

"You have children..."

"So do you."

"You're people need you back..." Optimus tried.

"They have a whole bloody council. I'm expendable," Rodimus said.

"But..." Optimus began.

"You're sitting on it....and if you make one move to crack that Matrix Lancer and I will disappear and that will be the end of it," Rodimus snapped.

"That's ridiculous...it's not that important!"

Rodimus treated Optimus to his limited command of the Drazi language. When Rodi was finally done suggesting Optimus do things to himself the elder Autobot didn't have the anatomy for, Rodimus explained his view a bit more coherently. "Optimus Prime, you are forbidden fuck up the Matrix."

Optimus blinked. He was unused to anyone but Magnus contradicting him this way.

"But..." he tried, not willing to surrender to a six foot human.

Rodi morphed. He put his wild, green optics about two inches from Optimus'. "The Matrix is NOT an option!" he growled. He poked Optimus' chest plate. "Not an option! Do I make myself entirely clear? There is a great deal of my history I edited...and don't ask me for more information, 'cause I'm an asshole and I won't tell you. However, I will tell you that no less than twice in the last few decades have we been compelled to use the Matrix to, well, save the universe, actually. You will not crack into what may be the only thing that can save your people to give Lancer and me a microscopic chance of getting home! Just so we can have an equally microscopic chance of doing some good there! Don't get me wrong...I want to get home, if only to see my girls again, but even if we fix the teleporter the return trip may well kill us. Thanks anyway. It was nice of you to offer." He smiled, morphed back to human, and took his former place next to Lancer as if nothing had happened.

She sighed.

"Er..." said Wheeljack.

"Do you guys know where your Matrix came from in the first place?" Lancer asked. "Ours was Jabez manufacture. It pisses me off. There are about 300 of them on the Maelstrom...most bigger than the Matrix. If we were there, we could just take one."

"If we were there, we wouldn't need the teleporter," Rodimus observed.

"Well, that's true, " Lancer agreed.

"The Matrix has been passed down from leader to leader since the Quintisson days," Elita answered.

"It was in our dimension too, but no one ever bothered to figure out where it originated," Lancer complained, pinching her mate.

"Hey!" I wasn't the first one to carry the damned thing ya know," Rodi protested.

"No excuses," Lancer said. "Might have saved people a lot of trouble....might have saved a lot of people if any of you Prime Yahoos had thought to check into things."

"I don't think Vector Sigma would have approved of such radical ideas," Rodimus sneered.

"Well, that's probably true," Lancer sighed. "Lying piece of fucking shit. We have to get back if only to make its benighted existence sheer hell."

"Do you suppose the Quintissons actually made it here?" Elita wondered.

Rodimus looked skeptical, "Elita...I don't know. If they are anything like the Quints we have, the Matrix is WAY out of their league. It's...it's too elegant for them."

"I never thought I'd hear you use the word elegant in relation to the fucking squid," Lancer said to her mate.

"I never said the Jabez didn't have style," Rodimus hissed. "I hate their style, but you have to admit every damned thing they do is refined. Right down to the knives they used to peel my skin off."

"Still, even if the Quints didn't make it, maybe they know who did," Magnus mused.

"Truth," Rodimus cheerfully, "I guess we'll have to go ask."

"We'll send a task-force out right away," Optimus said.

"No ya won't!" Rodimus countered.

"What?" Optimus cried. Contradicted! Twice in one day!

"Optimus, look. They'll see your guys coming. This is the kind of mission Lancer and I specialize in. It's our problem anyway. Keep your people at their posts and we'll deal with it."

"You can't mean to take yourself and a human..."

"Mutant," Lancer growled.

"Right. Sorry. You can't mean to take just yourself and a mutant..." Optimus started again.

"Ya just had to go there didn't ya Op?" Rodimus said.

There was a crack of lighting. It vaporized the chair right out from under Optimus without making a singe anywhere else in the room. He yelped as he plummeted to the floor.

Lancer stalked to the other side of Prime's desk so she could glare at him eye to optic.

"By all means, go right ahead," Optimus said in a weak voice. "Best of luck!"

"That's what I thought you meant," Lancer said.

X

X

X

"So I assume you have a plan for finding the Quints?" Magnus asked Rodimus once they got back to the house. Rodi made a bee-line for Spike's office.

"Well, not really, since I don't make plans. They are against my religion. Spike! I'm borrowing your computer!"

"What?" Magnus cried.

"Really. I just wing it. Spike! Your modem is slow!"

"You are insane," Magnus avowed, not believing a word of it. "What are you looking for anyway?"

"Dance clubs in Miami," Rodimus said. "Best place to start looking for Quints. Dance clubs! The swankier, the better!" Rodimus laughed, and to Magnus' amazement, that was exactly what he searched for. "Spike! Prime owes you a new computer! This one runs like a car-carrier! Clunky and slow!"

X

X

X

The next day Rodimus asked Carly if she wanted to go sight-seeing.

"Where?" she asked, handing him Daniel.

"Why," he said, more to the baby than her, "To check out all the nice dance clubs I found on Daddy's worthless computer last night."

"You never told me what you wanted with those," Magnus said. He didn't want to admit it, but he was intrigued.

"You were too busy trying to chase me to really talk to," Rodimus reminded him.

"Trying? It seems to me I caught you once," Magnus reminded back.

"Only 'cause Lancer cheats with the tail," Rodimus griped.

"I only cheat when you run around the house yelling 'Clunky and slow, clunky and slow!"

"I was only talking about Spike's computer," Rodimus tried.

"Were not," Magnus rumbled.

"My computer is state of the art! I'm the ambassador to the Autobots! It's not my fault you are from decades in the future!" Spike was proud of his computer. Wheeljack had built it from scratch.

"You know," Carly observed,"A change of scenery might be just what this group needs."

X

X

X

They drove around for hours. Rodimus offered to drive, but Spike wouldn't let him, so he sat in the passenger seat and told Spike where to go. They would arrive at an address on Rodi's extensive list and usually they would keep right on going. A few times Rodi would ask Spike to slow down, but that was it.

Once, at a club on the waterfront, Rodimus smiled. At the end of the block by the yacht pier, he asked Spike to pull over. Lancer got out. Rodimus told Spike to keep going, but this time they sort of circled the area. About 20 minutes later, just when Spike was about to crush the steering wheel like tissue, Lancer met them at a traffic light about 2 blocks away.

She was slightly winded when she hopped in the car, but she took her spot on the floor, and only smiled when asked what she's been doing.

They would repeat this process only twice more before it was time for lunch. They found a little bistro not far from downtown.

X

X

X

"If I was hoping to settle everyone down with this lunacy I must have been out of my mind!" Carly fumed quietly as they waited to be seated. "Five hours squashed in a mini-van with half the Autobot army...on the same damned seat as Ultra Magnus no less! Spike! We need a bigger car!"

"Sure," Spike snapped, "How's about a Winnebego?"

Carly laughed hysterically until the hostess came to seat them.

"It wasn't that funny," Rodimus said.

"So what exactly are we doing except getting some real quality time?" Springer wanted to know. "Hot Rod and Foul Play are going to be mates by the time this is over the way they're crammed on top of each other back there."

Foul Play dropped her fork. "Excuse me," she muttered to herself. She then proceeded to eat her mashed potatoes with a spoon. Hot Rod gave her his fork. Foul Play smiled at him, saw Marissa looking at her, and refused the fork. The mashed potatoes disappeared via spoon.

"We are doing recon of course," Rodimus said, nonchalantly. "Or rather, my love is doing recon and we are just keeping her company."

"Would anyone like desert?" their happy waitress asked. It was a small establishment. There were rarely checks the size of the one this group was racking up.

"Vanilla ice cream all around," Carly said adroitly. There was no avoiding desert, but she could keep the damage down.

"Right away," said the waitress, wondering how they all stayed so thin.

Marissa shook her head and waited for the waitress to get out of earshot. "OK... why here? You don't really expect to see a Quint doing disco moves under the strobes Rodi."

Magnus choked on his last bite of burger. Springer helpfully pounded on his back as he had seen Carly do to Spike.

Magnus punched him and kept coughing.

"Not so hard Springer," Marissa suggested. She kept her eyes on Rodi.

"Well, that would make some great photos, but no," Rodi grinned. "I'm not really looking for a good dance club. I wish I was. When was the last time you and I went dancing love?"

"I'm not answering that," Lancer said, blushing.

Rodi grinned at her and then turned back to Marissa. "What I'm really looking for is gangsters," Rodimus said. He looked back at Lancer who flushed.

"Well that's clear as mud," Marissa sighed.

"Surely only a Prime could communicate in this fashion," Magnus said.

"In case you missed it, that was sarcasm," Springer said sarcastically.

"You have a twin in my dimension Springer, I marinated in sarcasm from the day I was activated believe me," Rodimus informed him. "It is very simple guys. Gangsters like money and trouble. Quints like money and trouble. This is Miami, capitol city of money and trouble...and Miami Intergalatic Spaceport." He affected a New York accent. "If we were in the Big Apple, I'd hit the docks, but here in the Sunshine state business is conducted all civilized...in the offices of swanky night clubs. We go in, we see who's in charge, we arrange a conversation, and maybe catch some good tunes and some dancing in the process. Except you Dan-o. You're underage and the fake license thing won't cut it for a while yet. Sorry man. I'll bring you back a paper umbrella." He grinned.

It was good the waitress showed up with their desert at the moment. Most of the table was at a loss for words.

"You think the Quints are doing....business here on Earth?" Magnus said in a voice like shards of glass.

"I am staking my trip home on it," Rodimus said gravely. "Do you think they don't see Earth as ripe for the picking? I'm sure they are falling over each other trying to beat the off-world crime lords to the underground networks here."

"EDC has been encountering a lot of smuggled off-world weapons lately," Marissa mused, almost to herself.

"I know," Rodimus said.

"How do you know?" she asked, surprised.

"Because we read the newspaper...and I hacked into their data bases last night with Spike's computer," Rodimus said cheerfully.

"YOU ARE GOING TO GET ME ARRESTED!" Spike hissed in a furious whisper.

Rodi grinned wolfishly...but his grin faded as he looked out over Spike's shoulder.

"HIT THE DECK!" he and Lancer roared in unison.

Foul Play squeaked as Hot Rod pulled her out of her seat onto the floor. People all over the restaurant were screaming in fear as the windows shattered and safety glass peppered the room.

An enormous object thumped down outside the windows and from their vantage on the floor it was a moment before most of them identified what it was. Another object like the first came down and shattered windows further down the street. A foot. Bruticus' foot to be precise.

"Is everyone OK?" Magnus asked. He got a chorus of OK's. Carly took a minute to unwrap herself so she could check her son. Finally she nodded. No one in the restaurant was hurt badly...just shocked and bruised from hitting the floor. Their waitress dropped a tray on her foot but claimed she was fine.

Foul Play stood up quickly. Her eyes were dilated and looked solid black. "What a mess..." she whispered.

Rodimus leaned out the empty window and followed Bruticus with his stare. It didn't take a mind link to see what he was thinking.

"You can't go after them," Magnus whispered. "They can't see you...it will put Hot Rod in danger if they see you."

"My ice cream...my ice cream has glass in it," Foul Play said to no one in particular.

"Foul Play...are you all right?" Hot Rod asked. "Did you get hit on the head?"

"Where are your Autobots?" Rodimus asked. Bruticus turned the corner but they could still see him standing head and shoulders above the buildings. He laughed his booming laugh and punched at the corner structure. Inside, people were screaming.

"They'll be here," Magnus promised, but he could tell Rodi wasn't listening.

"No, I'm not all right," Foul Play pointed to a bowl on the floor. "My ice cream has glass in it."

"Foul Play," Hot Rod said, "I think you need to sit down."

"Where are they?!" Rodimus asked again, whirling on Magnus with those unnerving green eyes. Lancer glided up next to him with a low growl.

"Don't fang out in here," Magnus begged her. Bruticus laughed, and punched the building again. It collapsed, and suddenly all of Magnus' arguments and fear melted away. Instinct and anger over ran common sense. Human or not, he was Ultra Magnus...and Ultra Magnus did not hide in a hole when Decepticons were around.

Rodimus ran out of the restaurant and Magnus made one, half-hearted grab for him. He followed in Rodi's wake, suddenly more interested in getting at Bruticus than catching Rodi. To his amazement as Rodimus morphed he also disappeared. Magnus felt a rush of air beside him and was stunned again as Lancer also seemed to morph and disappear. For just an instant, he saw her become a full-scale robot before she vanished.

Stopped in his tracks for just a second he yelled after them "It would have been nice if you'd told me you could do that you bastards!" Then he took off down the street as fast as his considerably long legs would carry him. He saw no sign of Lancer or Rodimus but he was acutely aware that some of his other companions were hot on his heels. He spared a glance at them.

Marissa and Spike both had weapons drawn as they ran. Arcee sprinted like a pro. Springer moved his mass far more quickly than anyone would have given credit for, but in the lead was of all people, Foul Play. Hot Rod was trying to catch her with all he had. The boy was fast, but she ran wild-eyed... looking almost as possessed as Lancer.

Something down the street picked up a lamp post and clanked Bruticus on the back of the head. Stunned, the combiner lost cohesion and fell into various surprised pieces.

Foul Play flew past Magnus like she still had jet engines, propelled by thrusters he couldn't see.

Hot Rod went by just as fast. "Foul Play! It's dangerous! Foul Play STOP!"

Eyes wide, Magnus resumed running, dodging and leaping over fallen debris as he ran. The end of the street was blocked by an avalanche of concrete. Any sane person would have avoided it, but Foul Play rocketed heedlessly up the side. Hot Rod and Magnus scrambled awkwardly after her.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" she screamed at the nearest Combaticon. She picked up a piece of rubble and threw it at Brawl. She missed. Undeterred she picked up another as she slid down the other side of the wreckage hill. Firmly on her feet, she aimed better. The next chunk hit Brawl squarely in the back of the head.

Turning from the sight of Swindle and Vortex being mysteriously electrocuted by some downed wires, Brawl laughed at the enraged human throwing rocks at him.

"THERE IS NOTHING HERE! THERE IS NO TARGET FOR YOU HERE! YOU ARE JUST SCARING THESE PEOPLE! YOU ARE JUST MAKING A MESS! IT ISN'T FUNNY BRAWL!" the woman cried.

A little red-haired human tried to pull her away, but she broke free of him, and threw another rock.

"THERE IS NO TARGET HERE! THERE IS NO HONOR HERE! THESE ARE NOT AUTOBOTS! THEY ARE JUST FRIGHTENED FLESHLINGS TRYING TO HAVE LUNCH!"

"FOUL PLAY LOOK OUT!" Hot Rod screamed. More of the building gave way and fell towards them. Hot Rod's legs convulsed with sheer adrenalin and he hit her with a flying tackle that threw the two of them across the street. It wasn't enough. Half of the building's four stories were still falling towards them.

Continued IN Conversations in the Kitchen Chapter 3

Part A


End file.
